Blakeyblog

Last night I learned a very valuable lesson in friendship. It is three-fold: 1) A friendship is only as good as each person’s ability to send and receive accurate message; 2) True love is void of self, asking nothing in return; and 3) There is no replacement for honesty. The story surrounding this lesson is long and involved, but I am so thankful that God is so able to bring about things like resolution, forgiveness and change. I have long since realized that I cannot change people and I am thankful for this. If I could change people I would have them be only how I want them and only to do what makes me happy. With God in charge all of life is better off, for the creation is bound to obey the Creator. I have been feeling rather small lately in relational problems that I have been having. Feeling that I cannot do anything to help these situations. But God showed me that if I am empty of my selfish preoccupations and willing to obey His will that He will use me. I get so consumed with my desires and totally concerned with life happening in a way that leans toward my favor. Last night I was so convicted of this error in my ways. This justification of my selfishness when I say “All I’m asking is______”. I realize how easily my wants, felt needs and seemingly-good expectations get in the way of what God is accomplishing in my life. I do not want to miss the work He is doing. I want to work with Him.

I was especially challenged and encouraged by something that Bobby wrote on Psalm 116:5-7 “Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.” Bobby wrote, “Life is a gift. Sometimes we take that for granted. We think that we are entitled to everything we have. However, we should not forget that as sinners what we truly deserve is death…It is only when we comprehend our desperate condition on death’s door that we seriously consider turning to the Lord. He is the giver of all life, the savior of every damned soul…On our own we would be in distress, but knowing who God is gives us rest. God is the antithesis of who we are as humans, and the answer to all of our needs. We can be comforted by His character; we can find hope in how perfect He is.”(To read in full, please visit Godsong)

I have had a rather trying day . Due to a late and complex evening I had a difficult time getting to sleep. Waking up late this morning, attempting to get myself together for work on time, I went to get dressed and was greeted by a huge cockroach in my closet. I use the term ‘huge’ because this is only the third cockroach I have seen in my life. I’m not sure if I can use the word ‘gigantic’ because my family in Texas has probably seen cockroaches of disturbing proportions. All of that to say, it was the biggest one I’ve ever seen and I had this moment of panic, due mostly to it’s size. I am not too bug-fussy, I’ll smash them or get the “bug vaccum”…but this?? I didn’t know if I should smash it or saddle it up and ride it! I thought through my options and decided that if I chose to smash, it would make a sickening sound and the mess would be disgusting. Instead I trapped it under a jar and it was later deposited back outside where it belongs. Hoping my bug problems were over and frustrated that I was running late, I made it to work and determined to make the most of my morning. Popping the lid from my insulated cup I began to take a sip when I noticed an ant swimming around in my English breakfast tea.

I am happy to report that my day has gotten much better. I am looking forward to a quiet night at home with my Bobby, laundry to do, and a good book to read. I will be reminding myself and I hope you will too… Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.

A new week is here and I am feeling refreshed and renewed after a weekend away to visit my family. I had a safe and uneventful drive down there playing Godsong over and over again. (Did I mention their website…www.godsongmusic.com) I had a nice time with my younger sisters and brother. My mom helped me get better aquainted with my new sewing machine, I even finished a project in just two days! One night we rented The Princess Diaries 2. One knows that a movie documenting Princess Mia’s mis-adventures is not to be taken seriously, for neither story nor acting. But this movie went beyond not to be taken seriously. On the scale of one-word movie descriptions I would say this movie moves beyond “cheesy” and into “sappy”. Monica and I could not make it through a single scene without some sort of sigh, grunt, moan or “Oh brother” coming out. If you are looking for something good to watch…save your time and money and get something else.

On Saturday my mom, and two sisters and I went out to do a little shopping. We like to go to the thrift stores and find good bargains. I couldn’t believe all the great things I found! I came home with a really nice framed Norman Rockwell picture (the one of the couple signing the marriage liscence), a iron candle holder (the kind that go in your fireplace), two bowls, and a hat for almost $5! We went to this store called the 99 cent store where I found a couple more bargains. I started wondering about the California economy. With all of these bargain places here and extremely costly stores up where I live, how in the world do those both even out?! I pondered this at lunch, over a chicken club wrap and a chocolate milkshake. Turning to talk to my sister I realized that I didn’t have as firm a grip on it as I thought and it splat on the floor. “OH I’m SO sorry!!!” I said. The girl quickly handed me a new one before she rushed from behind the counter smiling and assuring me that it was okay. I felt terrible! But I think my mom and sisters got a kick out of it, due to the endless jokes about my grip on things the rest of the afternoon.

Well, I’m off to get a grip on things I need to get done for work. I have a feeling this is going to be a good blogging week for me, so stay tuned…and have a nice day!

Thursday night is finally here! After a grueling, long and frustrating week I am off on my weekend getaway to my parents house on the centeral coast. I even have tomorrow off from work so I can leave early in the a.m. to head down to pay my lovely family a visit. Tonight I’m packing some essentials, Moshi and enough CD’s to last me the four hour drive there. Including a whole new collection of ‘rough draft’ Godsong songs. For more information and to hear their new song called “Let Me Live” please visit their site: www.godsongmusic.com

As I’m going out-of-town I had 2 Corinthians 5:9 on my mind. “We have as our ambition, whether at home or abroad to be pleasing to Him.” This is true faith, true Christianity-to live pleasing Him. A believer does not live to please God from 9am-5pm, or on Sunday morning and Wednesday night, or when people are around. If we really believe we will live to please God no matter where we are, who we are with or what we are doing. This is my ambition, is it yours?

Have you ever had one of those days that drag on, seeming never to end? One of thsoe days where the clock is just not making its rounds fast enough? You know how the Bible says that man and God see time differently? To God one day is as a thousand years. I am having this kind of week. I feel like it is next Thursday, but it’s only this Wednesday. I’ve been having to deal with some challenges this week, most of which take the form of people. And instead of just rising above it all I have felt frustrated, tired and even bored.

I figure that I will stay frustrated until I really think through my attitude and change my thoughts to think the rightly about redeeming my time and responding in a godly way to things that bog me down. I have some things I’m looking forward to tonight and this weekend. But looking forward to later doesn’t always help with the here and now, so I looked up some verses that really helped me, maybe you will even find them encouraging…

Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Simply put, today is a gift. I cannot change yesterday and I don’t even know if I have tomorrow, all I have is today. I can choose to live it for the Lord, seeking and following Him, or wasting it. I don’t need to dread today, or worry about what it may hold; I need to just be glad in it because God is in it. It is His day and He is giving it to me, I need to ask myself what am I going to do with it?

Ephesians 5:15-16 “Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” Paul gives me three things to consider here: 1) “Be careful” tells me that it’s very easy to waste days and not even think twice about it. I need to start considering my time and what I do with it. 2) There is an “unwise” and “wise” way I can spend today. The wise way: “making the most of every opportunity” and the unwise way: wasting opportunities by feeling sorry for myself or making excuses for my bad attitude, complaining. 3) “The days are evil.” There are lots of sins that I can get caught up in, many things that can lead me astray today. Complaining about what I don’t like about it and being negative about my cicumstances is doing more to tear down my appreciation for the gift of life and probably bring down the people listening to me.

Instead, I can choose to resolve the problems I am coming across, encourage others and serve the Lord with my whole heart. If I focus on these things maybe I won’t be so focused on the clock. I have 86,400 seconds–sounds like alot to me today!–but I can redeem every one of them from frustraton and waste if I choose to.

Last night I spent my evening reading more of 1 Peter and some of Beth Moore’s Believing God. Bobby and I went to Borders. I looked for a book called Blowing My Cover: My life as a CIA agent. I couldn’t find it, but I did buy the new Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. I saw the movie with the girls last month. We had conflicting views on the story, some thinking it to be dramatic and romantic, some said “shocking” and some wondering why Christine says the Phantom is “inside my mind” (that was me!). The story aside, we can all agree that the music is beautiful.

I also made peanut butter smoothies. Delicious! If you want to try them, it is a very simple recipe I made up: Put 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream in a blender with about 1/4 cup of milk or less, depending on the thickness you prefer. Blend until smooth and then add two big spoonfuls of creamy peanut butter and 1/4 tablespoon of vanilla, blend about one minute and enjoy!

Well, that is enough blog rambling, maybe my day isn’t going so badly after all…

“Faith is the only thing that will close the gap between our theology and our reality.” This quote by Beth Moore has been brewing in my mind all weekend. I am becoming increasingly more aware of the hypocrisy and inconsistency between word and deed, belief and action. I “mean well” but I don’t always do well. I wonder, if I am not living in obedience to God’s commands do I really even believe His commands? There is a gap between my theology and my practice. The old saying “Actions speak louder than words” comes to mind. Often times our beliefs and our actions don’t align. We think our theology and ideas sound good and we believe them, but they have not changed our hearts. I have most recently seen this in relationships.

This weekend I was talking with some friends about what it means to “love fervently”(we were discussing 1 Peter 1). We agreed this does not mean a love that ignores sin or problems. It is talking about a love that cares enough to speak the truth gently. It is love that will confront or challenge. True love goes deeper than the surface. It wants to know “How are you growing spiritually?”. It does not avoid conflict, but seeks to resolve it. Sometimes I think that godly love sounds like such a beautiful picture, but this weekend I was challenged to ask myself, do I really love that way? Do I think that I care about people, or do I show them? Something I pray for and think about alot is unity. It seems that unity has to do mostly with harmony and peace between believers. Our lives must be mutually intertwined so that we can support and encourage one another. Philippians 1:27 says, “Stand firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.” Paul wanted believers to keep sins (partiality, bitterness, criticism and pride) from spreading throughout the church. I can be praying and hoping for unity all that I want, but could completely miss its meaning. I shouldn’t pray for unity and then gossip about someone. I cannot hope that relationships can be restored while harboring bitterness in my heart. I shouldnt’ be angry that a friend is in sin, and never talk to them about it. If unity and fervent love are something that really matter to me, I cannot simply wish it on everyone else…it must start with me. I must put away pride and partiality and seek to love others fervently, doing as far as it depends on me to be at peace with others. This might include doing things that are uncomfortable– confronting someone gently, being honest about a problem, giving up my plans, forgiving though I’ve been hurt. I can make my theology a reality by taking to heart the things that I am learning and having faith enough to make those ideas actions.

James 1:22 gives a convicting exhortation, “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only deceiving yourselves.” I hope you will be encouraged to take the steps of faith necessary to bridge the gap between hearing and doing…