Housesitting for our friends has sure has come in handy this month with Bobby’s family, Brad and my sister all up to visit. We are even expecting more guests this weekend, so it seems as though we are running some sort of hotel or bed and breakfast place. Monica arrived the other day and we are having a fabulous visit. She does homework all day while I’m at the office and at lunch and in the evenings we spend time together. Last night we met our older sister [1] Alicia at the mall. Monica was there to get her haircut and I came along to pick up a frother so that we could have [2] Tea-Chinos.

Last night Monica and I worked on a puzzle over cups of tea and I realize how good it is to have a sister-friend. We have many relatives, but very few are true friends. I find it to be very unique relationship. Normally you meet a friend. But a sister has been there all along, you’ve known each other since before you can even remember. Usually you are telling a friend stories and memories from your past, but with a sister, she was there when those things happened. It can be a solid relationship of deep understanding and closeness. This is not to say that all sister relationships will be friendships. Sometimes two sisters simply never grow close, or have very differing interests. If a friendship like this with a sister(or brother) can stand the tests of time and change…this is something to be treasured.

I find that many people do not have a good grasp on what a godly and productive friendship is. It might be related to how they view Jesus’ thoughts on friendhips. I usually feel uncomfortable with refering to Jesus as our “friend.” But today I read a John 15:14-15 and it shed a different light on this concept.

“Jesus said, ‘You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, becasue a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I have learned from my Father I have made known to you’.”

I like how Jesus spells out so clearly the definition of friend. I have found that people are usually so caught up in the selfish demands of human friendship that the relationships seems pointless and unproductive. In many human friendships it is, “You are my friends if you…” and then a long list something like this follows: pursue me, show up at all my parties and special life events, give me gifts, stand by me no matter what, affirm my decisions good and bad, make me feel good about myself, and maybe even don’t challenge me. Jesus doesn’t have this friendship to-do list, He defines “friend” as obedience. Now clearly this definition does not run in our horizontal relationships by us saying to one another, “Obey me.” But as we are called to be like Christ, our friendships must be about doing what He commands, not what we or our personality prefers. Sometimes this means I must gently exhort a friend, endure patiently with a friend’s faults, challenge my friend spiritually. I can’t be gossiping or being angry with a friend, and I shouldn’t just condone all they do, but pointing them to the holy standard of Christ.

I think we sometimes take friendships very lightly. We merely exist with people rather than really knowing them or actively seeking to build them up in the Lord and walk along side them, growing together. Sometimes we just spend time with people simply because that is always what has been done. My heart has changed from settling for this sort of counterfeit friendship and I am being renewed to see the full and purposed relationships that honor the Lord…ones that are all wrapped up in and focused on Him.

“If we walk in the light as God is in the light,
we will have fellowship with one another.”
(1 John 1:7)