A dark and stormy Thursday…

April 28th, 2005

It’s a dark cold and rainy day here. I like the rain. Everywhere I go today people are complaining about the rain and saying they wish it would just be summer. But then in summer those people are complaining about how hot it is and wishing for winter. I guess I just figure I can’t do anything about the fact that it is raining, so I might as well enjoy it.

A Chinese client informed me that today is very lucky because in China all of their numbers mean something making “28″ a very good number. She said that “2″ means “A path leading to something” and “8″ means “prosperity.” I thought that was funny, so I asked her, “What does ‘4′ mean?” and she said, “Oh terrible, it means death!” I don’t really believe in all that luck stuff, but I thought it was a hilarious conversation.

Tomorrow I’ll be going out of town for the weekend to spend some time in Asilomar for a women’s retreat. I’m carpooling with the friends I’ll be rooming with there, so I hope it will be a good time of fellowship and encouragement. They have tea times, bike rides, or we can just go on walks by the ocean or go to Carmel. I’m looking forward to hearing the speaker and getting to spend some time getting to know people.

Today I realized it is easy to worry about things. Sometimes if I try to figure out the future I worry about money, family, safety, and the list could go on. It seems like so much in life is just unknown. But my responses shouldn’t be up in the air but grounded in my trust in the Lord. I am always inspired by what Jeremiah 17:7-8 says on this matter:

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
it does not fear when heat comes; it’s leaves are always green.
it has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

I can have hope in all things unknown
For God knows all things
And I know Him.


Are you avoiding persecution?

April 27th, 2005

I just read a portion of my devotional which is a study through the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. Today’s section focused on verse 10, “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness.” The following portion of the MacArthur’s thoughts I found to be very profound and personally challenging:

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“I heard of a man who was fearful because he was starting a new job with a group of unbelievers whom he thought might give him a bad time if they found out he was a Christian. After his first day at work his wife asked him how he got along with them. “We got along just fine,” he said. “They never found out I’m a Christian.”
Silence is one way to avoid persecution. Some other ways are to approve of the world’s standards, laugh at its jokes, enjoy its entertainment, and smile when it mocks God. If you never confront sin or tell people Jesus is the only way to heaven, or if your behavior is so worldly no one can distinguish you from unbelievers, you will probably be accepted and won’t feel the heat of persecution. But beware!
Jesus said, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you. . . . Whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when He comes in His glory” (Luke 6:26; 9:26). The last thing anyone should want is for Christ to pronounce a curse on them or be ashamed of them. That’s an enormous price to pay for popularity!”
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I don’t know that I have ever considered persecution as a blessing. But I know that it is mentioned since the beginning of history, when Abel was murdered by his brother because Cain could not tolerate his righteousness. Sometimes though, don’t we act like we are ashamed of righteousness? I remember in high school talking with someone and mentioning a friend that went to my church and the girl just stared at me in disbelief, “I never would have thought she was a Christian,” she said. It made me sick. Why would we put on such a two-faced act? I know right off that I am guilty of avoiding persecution by silence or false approval of others. I wag my head in shame when I think of the opportunities that I have had to declare the truth, proclaim the Gospel, and share God’s love and didn’t. I am convicting that sometimes I try to just blend in with the world or maybe I don’t deem it that bad, simply that I’m trying not to stand out. Same thing. Either way I am acting ashamed of Christ. I found Luke 6 and 9 above to be very conivicting to think that when I act ashamed of my faith and my Lord, He is ashamed of me. In the pursuit of holiness, I must put aside my hypocrisy and live in the Light.
We should never fear persecution. God grants us grace, daily to be obedient in all things that come our way. Remember His promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

“No temptation has overtaken you except which is common to man;
but God, who is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted
beyond what you are able, but with the temptation
will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

This may seem obvious, but Paul is saying that God will always provide an option other than disobedience. In every situation, no matter how hopeless, trapped or troubled I am there is a choice for righteousness that His grace will enable me to make. My devotional ended by saying, “persecution is as much a gift of God as salvation itself. Both identify you as a true believer!” It is a blessing to be tested and found genuine in God’s sight. It is a blessing to be given testing to grow and be sharpened. What a different perspective we can have on persecution. We can ask God to continually grant the grace to follow Christ’s example when difficulties come our way.


Seeing Glory

April 26th, 2005

Last night Bobby was telling me a crazy story about my brother-in-law, Billy. Billy recently has been watching some actors and movie people filming sequences for a television show that some of us watch. They were working on some scenes outside some apartments by the college he attends. I told Bobby that I thought it is silly how people get so worked up about celebrities these days, but conceded that it was pretty cool experience to see real actors in action.

The other day I received an invitation to a huge family reunion for my father’s side of the family. It urged us to attend saying that everyone would “really want to see us”. I started thinking about how interesting it is to see people. When we see a celebrity we are in awe, we get excited and ask for an autograph or picture and stare and gawk. When we haven’t seen someone for a long time under good circumstances we are happy to see them, catch up and notice good things about how they’ve grown or changed. When we haven’t seen someone for a long time under bad circumstances we feel nervous, anxious and hesitant. When we see someone that we don’t really like we might avoid talking to them or pass judgments on them.

This is all intriguing to me because I have people in my life who fall into each category, well…other than the celebrity one. I love to see my husband. I see him every day. I can’t wait to come home from work and be there together. I love just looking at him, listening to him talk, making him laugh, watching him read, just being with him. It is all so enjoyable and he is so encouraging to me. Seeing him is a highlight most every day.

There is another person I have to see regularly that I do not look forward to seeing, and sometimes even dread seeing. It has become an agony for me because it isn’t just seeing this person that is bad, it’s not like they are painful to look at. It is how they are that I dread. I know that they talk very loudly, walk loud, slam doors, and almost every conversation I have with this person is one sided because they talk constantly about themselves, their possessions, and their achievements. It is very discouraging.

I have long been in awe over the relationships that God had with some of the people in the Old Testament. How he walked in the garden with Adam, counted Abraham as His friend, the depths to which David knew Him, as a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). The story that really blows me away and gives me chills to read is in Exodus 33, when Moses meets with the Lord. It is an amazing passage of Moses waiting in a tabernacle for the Lord. And God, in the pillar of cloud descends into the tabernacle to talk with him. Verse 11 says,

“So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face,
as a man speaks to his friend.”

It is so hard for my mind to grasp that God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth and all things that exist, spoke to a man so intimately. What is even more mind blowing is that He is the same God today that He was then. And we do not have to go into a tabernacle to talk to Him. We have clear passage from our heart straight to His throne room in prayer. And yet how seriously do we take this. Usually I find myself just taking this for granted.

This conversation between God and man continues as Moses recounts that he has obeyed what the Lord has commanded of him, to bring the Israelites to that place and he asks God to show him the way he must go. And God responds in verse 14,

“My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”


To this Moses wonders how he and the people will be assured of God’s presence. The rest of this conversation is astounding as the Lord responds in verse 17,
“‘I will also do this thing that you have spoken;
for you have found grace in My sight, and I know you by name.’”


And he said, “Please, show me Your glory.”


Then He said, ‘I will make all My goodness pass before you,
and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you.
I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”


But He said, ‘You cannot see Me, and live.’
And the Lord said, ‘Here is a place by Me, and you shall stand on the rock. So it shall be, while My glory passes by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock, and will cover you with My hand while I pass by. Then I will take away My hand,
and you shall see My back; but My face shall not be seen.’”


Later it is recorded that when Moses came down from the mountain that the skin of his face shone. What an indescribable experience! Sometimes I think that the people in the Old Testament where so fortunate to see and know God in these amazing ways. But I know from the Word that God is the same today as He was then and I can talk to Him. I don’t have to go into a tabernacle and hope that God will meet me there. In Christ I have been given an open passage into the throne room of grace through prayer. This story of Moses invigorates me to evaluate my heart and find if there is any wicked way cluttering that passage of my heart to speak to the Lord. When God looks at my heart could He say, “you have found grace in My sight”?


We sing all these praise songs about God’s glory and wanting to see Him. I wonder if we are singing those songs with genuineness in our hearts before the Lord because I think it is both a scary and beautiful thought, to see Him in His glory. I consider it with fear when I read Revelation 1:13-18 describing Jesus in glory and also chapter 4 giving a vivid description of the throne room of heaven. I think of it as beautiful because God promises those who are His rest, as in Matthew 11:28. I don’t know if I would even have the courage to pray, “Lord, show me your glory.” But the reality is that one day I will see His glory. 1 John 3:2 says,
“Beloved, now we are children of God;
and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be,
but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him,
for we shall see Him as He is.”


It makes sense to me then, that the next verse, 1 John 3 talks about how all who hope to see Him in His glory make it their number one goal to live life their way, getting all they can and doing whatever it takes to please themselves. NO! It says,
“And everyone who has this hope in Him
purifies himself, just as He is pure.”



This afternoon I was reading Psalm 63 and I couldn’t stop re-reading the first two verses. And as I come into that throne room of prayer I can see that He is so wondrous and then I am so convicted of my unholiness before Him that my heart cries the prayer of David’s in verses 1-2:
“O God, You are my God;
Early I will seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.”

Open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see You…


A day of rest…

April 24th, 2005

Bobby and I had planned to have the most relaxing weekend; unfortunately it has not turned out that way. I did enjoy spending some time planting a couple of flower boxes for our patio, like in the picture above. I thought I would go to sleep early last night so that I could “catch up” on my rest but I ended up having a hard time falling asleep so early and then just felt more tired today. I was thinking how God Himself modeled for us the need for rest: “Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.” (Genesis 2:3) God didn’t rest because He was weary nor needed the rest, but to show us the pattern He wanted us to follow in work and rest. I don’t go to my office to work seven days of the week, but I don’t always take a day to rest. This doesn’t mean there is anything in that day that is holy or special necessarily. And it certainly isn’t set aside for a “lazy day.” We have many things to attend to each day; it is easy to become tired. It is encouraging to remember that with the Lord I am not alone. I may be exhausted and still have more to do, but He is my rest and my source of strength. There is a verse in Matthew that gives an inspiring promise of His rest:

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
And you will find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:28)
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Ready for the Weekend

April 22nd, 2005

Friday is finally here and I’m very much looking forward to the weekend. The weather forecast is rain tonight until Monday, but I don’t mind it. I want to spend some time reading and maybe even watching a movie or two. I hope the rain holds off until our event tonight! We are taking our students to play miniature golf. With only a few other small things planned, I’m looking forward to some rest. This week I started reading Jerry Bridges book The Pursuit of Holiness. I found this portion of the preface to be very inspiring:

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Hebrews 12:14 says, “Pursue holiness, for without holiness no one will see the Lord.” The word pursue suggests two thoughts: first, that diligence and effort are required; and second, that it is a lifelong task. While seeking (in this book) to set forth clearly and accurately God’s provision for our holiness, I have deliberately stressed our responsibility, feeling that this is an emphasis sorely needed among Christians today. At the same time I have sought to emphasize that holiness is a process, something we never completely attain in this life. Rather, as we begin to conform to the will of God in one area of life, He reveals to us our need in another area. That is why we will always be pursuing–as opposed to attaining–holiness in this life.”
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I’m glad I’ve started this book and I’m looking forward to encouragement from it as I pursue this process of holiness in the Lord in each area of my life. Praising Him, for He alone is holy…


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