Being Home…

May 31st, 2005

Today Bobby and I drove down the coast to my parent’s house. It’s always good to be here and notice the changes in things that they are accustomed to…like how tall my brother keeps getting and how pretty the remodeling looks. Mom always makes delicious food and we were treated to a rich chocolate cake after dinner. Monica is home from college and as we are up talking with mom I thought I would jump on the computer to write some thoughts I’ve had tonight.

It’s so funny how all things work together in our circumstances and the lessons we learn. As we will be away from home this week I found in reading of Psalm 139 this morning a lesson that came back to me tonight.

“O Lord, You have searched me and know me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquaintedwith all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.


Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold You are there.


If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”
Psalm 139:1-12
No matter where I go, God is there. He is intricately involved in all of the details of my life–comings and goings, words and thoughts. He knows all and nothing is hidden from His sight. He has full knowledge of every secret and sin I have. He is providentially watching over me at all times, day and night. The more surrendered I am to His will the easier it is to see His working in this intimate way. No matter where we are He will be working to make us holy. We are always home when we are in His will. We must be devoted to honest openness and genuine growth. David’s prayer in verse 23-24 is an invitation for God’s light to invade the darkness in his heart…May this become our prayer too:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.”


Summer Reality

May 30th, 2005

Reality is setting in… Summer is here! Having the next three months off from work I have been thinking of some things I want to get done, namely around our apartment and a few books I want to read. With the long weekend I’ve been enjoying late nights, naps and putting on our annual high school banquet. With the fiesta theme and live Mariachi band it was a great time of honoring the graduating seniors.

Yesterday I heard a lesson on the gifts God gives to us and how we must give in return. Sometimes man likes to think that he works all things together for his own good, but we shouldn’t be deceived by this lie. James 1:17-18 says:

“Every good and every perfect gift is from above
and comes down from the Father of lights
with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth,
that we might be a kind of first fruits of His creatures.”


Everything that we have is granted by Him and given to us for the purpose of glorifying Him. The second part of this verse says that God brought us forth into salvation so that we might be a small evidence of His greatness. He does not change. He does not waver. He remains the same as the Giver of all things. Sometimes we think that God has changed because He gives us things that we do not deem “good.” But we, not God are the one in error.
Martha Peace says, in her book Attitudes of a Transformed Heart, “God is good. He is always good! I am to obey Him whether I feel like it or not. God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours. God is in charge whether we like it or not.” We do not always understand the gifts that He gives us. Our walk of faith in Him is growing to trust His goodness regardless of our opinion of it. I often get distracted by my selfish desire for comfort and plans for the future. Much of the time our desires blind us to the reality of who God is. I want things my way and when God gives me something else I am bitter and angry with Him. My view of Him becomes discolored because I am looking at Him through the lens of my desires and circumstances rather than the perfect words of Scripture. We are all guilty of twisting and contorting Him to be someone that we can live with in our present state by making Him in our image. Some think of God as a glorified Santa Claus, others as one who is angry, mean and ready to judge, and others see Him as all accepting and weak. No matter how we pervert the reality of God’s character, He is still who He is, not who we make Him to be.
Only a right view of God will change who I am. If I have a low view of Him and a high view of me I am bound to experience frustration and bitterness. I have found that when I have a high view of God as holy and just, gracious and true, faithful and sovereign–I experience fulfillment, contentment, joy and peace. I am desperate to discipline my mind and heart to put away the misconceived views I have of God and to be captured by the reality of who He is. This discipline is wrapped up in one practice and that is immersing myself in the place where God is proclaimed—His Word. I need to read it, study it, memorize it, pray it and meditate on it. We much too easily allow our perspective of God to be shaped by an inferior knowledge in the brevity with which He is addressed in our self-centered culture. We need to take hold of the gifts that He has given us in His Word and direct access to conversation with Him and seriously pursue knowing Him. Our lives will be radically different when we begin to live in the reality that God is Lord of all and He alone is good.
“I am the Lord,
And there is no other;
Besides Me there is no God.
I will gird you, though you have not known Me;
That men may know from the rising to the setting of the sun
That there is no one besides Me;
I am the Lord,
And there is no other.”
Isaiah 45:5-6


In hot pursuit…

May 25th, 2005

Midway through a beautiful week, everyday has been clear, sunny and nearly 90 degrees. I’m happily counting down the days till my office closes for the summer and I will be able enjoy three months free of my usual nine to five restrictions. I think I’m at two and one half-day left. Though I’m out of school I still look forward to summer. In college when summer break came I would set aside the books and look for a job, but recently I have been getting a summer break from my job and have been using that time to pick up some good books to study. What irony.

One book I’ve been slowly reading this month is Jerry Bridges’ The Pursuit of Holiness. Today I was profoundly struck by the convicting words at the close of chapter eight:

——————————————————————————
“It is time for us Christians to face up to our responsibility for holiness. Too often we say we are “defeated” by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated; we are simply disobedient! It might be well if we stopped using the terms “victory” and “defeat” to describe our progress in holiness. Rather we should use the terms “obedience” and “disobedience.”



When I say I am defeated by some sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility. I am saying that something outside of me has defeated me. But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for my sin squarely on me. We may in fact be defeated, but the reason we are defeated is because we have chosen to disobey. We have chosen to entertain lustful thoughts, or to harbor resentment, or to shade the truth a little.



We need to brace ourselves up, and to realize that we are responsible for our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. We need to reckon on the fact that we died to sin’s reign, that it no longer has any dominion over us, that God has united us with the risen Christ in all His power, and has given us the Holy Spirit to work in us. Only as we accept our responsibility and appropriate God’s provisions will we make any progress in our pursuit of holiness.”
——————————————————————————


I would find holiness a very frustrating pursuit if it were up to me. It is so encouraging to read in Scripture that the Holy Spirit has been given to me. He is working in me and empowering me to resist temptation and flee the lusts of youth. Were it not for the Lord’s provision of grace to seek Him, I would not. Were it not for the salvation given to me, I would be lost. I used to think that it was all up to God and I was merely along for the ride. More and more I am realizing the need for me to submit to the Lord’s refining work and claim the strength and ability He gives. God has given what is necessary for me to pursue Him; I must take on the responsibility to do so, using those provisions.

“To this end I also labor,
striving according to His working which works in me mightily.”
Colossians 1:29


Alive

May 24th, 2005

Our friend Bradford Smith has just moved into town and is staying with us for a few nights. I let him borrow my alarm clock so he could be on time for his exciting new job and I pulled Bobby’s old alarm clock out of the hall closet to use in the interim. My clock gives a soothing beep-beep-beep as the wake-up. What a shock to wake up to the old one. I couldn’t believe that obnoxiously loud buzzing was coming from inside our apartment, let alone right next to my head! I told Bobby I had a whole new perspective on why he didn’t like mornings.

Mornings are not Bobby’s favorite time of the day. He prefers to sleep in, wake up at his leisure, and even when he is up and about he still says, “I’m not all the way awake yet.” I didn’t get this too quickly because I enjoy mornings. I love starting a new day. When I wake up I open all the curtains and a window or two when the weather permits. I’m usually well-rested and ready to go. I thought I’d help Bobby with his morning plight by getting him a CD player clock. He can set his favorite songs as the wake-up tune and toss out the old buzzing alarm. I think my plan backfired on me because he would get a CD all set for the morning. When the time came the first song would play, the second, and the third…I realized that instead of waking up grumpy, but quickly to the obnoxious buzzing, his morning wake-up took a 12 track CD now!

Today was different. Bobby was up and at ‘em at 7:15 this morning, ready to go and off to work and quite chipper about it I might add. Maybe it had something to do with the music he set or possibly the new lessons he’s teaching on called “Alive”. Either way, I found this change of the habit to be very inspiring. So much so I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve been learning with Bobby about being ALIVE!

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you,
that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing;
therefore choose life,
that both you and your descendants may live,
that you may love the Lord your God,
that you may obey His voice,
and that you may cling to Him,
for He is your life and the length of your days.”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20
In this passage Moses is exhorting the Israelites to make a decision before God and man to believe in and love the Lord. This choice is required of all mankind. Bobby said, “Right now all people fall into one of two categories: alive or perishing.” We tend to place the importance on spiritual life with death. People always ask the question, “Do you know where you’ll go when you die?” But a better question is “Do you know where you are right now?” Spiritual life is not something that begins at death, it begins at salvation and never ceases. Eternal life is a part of how you live now. Either you are living as one alive in Christ, or perishing without Him.

“Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin,
but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 6:11
Bobby taught on this the weekend that his grandma died. He asked the students, “How many of you have known someone who has died?” Almost everyone in the room raised their hand. Then he asked, “How many of you have seen that person since?” No hands. “That is how you must be to sin,” he said “Dead to it.” I was challenged by this because I know it can be easy to go through life with a passive day-to-day apathy. I can see now that this is not what life ought to be. In the words of Moses in Deuteronomy 30 we are to love the Lord, obey His voice and cling to Him. These three commands don’t sound like they would lead those who believe down a boring, mundane or hopeless path. It sounds like an exciting path of trust, change and hope.
Perhaps no other passage better captures the essence of what it is to be alive than Ephesians 2. In the first three verses Paul shows how we were so lost in our sin, how awful we were and separated from God. Then in verses four to ten he proclaims the freeing reality that in God’s amazing grace we are saved and set apart to new life in Him.
“And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,
in which you once walked according to the course of this world,
according to the prince of the power of the air,
the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience,
among whom also we once conducted ourselves
in the lusts of our flesh,
fulfilling the desires of the flesh and the mind
and were by nature children of wrath, just as others.


But God, who is rich in mercy,
because of His great love with which He loved us,
even when we were dead in trespasses,
made us alive together with Christ,
by grace you have been saved,
and raised us up together,
and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
that in the age to come He might show
the exceeding riches of His grace
in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.


For by grace you have been saved through faith
and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God,
not of works, lest any man should boast.
For we are His workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”


Some of Bobby’s students told him that a speaker at their Christian school’s chapel had said that people all can be divided spiritually in the following percentages: 10% Christians, 10% non-Christians, 80% in the middle. I remember Bobby sharing this with me, shaking his head and saying, “That’s a lie, you’re either choosing life or death right now today.” What are you choosing?


Mutuality

May 22nd, 2005

We’re enjoying a sunny, 80-degree weekend. Saturday the high schoolers had a car wash to earn money for the missions trip this summer. Not being Star Wars buffs, we haven’t caught on to the commotion regarding the third release, but in our curiosity rented the first two films this weekend. With those under our belts and hearing some positive reviews we are considering braving the mobs to see the Revenge of the Sith sometime this week.

I was able to have a nice long dinner with one of the girls in my small group as we talked about the upcoming events in her life, friends and the Lord. I have been realizing more and more the need to have deeply spiritual conversations with others. To purpose to do so rather than waiting for them to suddenly come up. The Lord is growing me as I seek Him out and this excites me to want to talk with others about it as well. In this same train of thought, Bobby taught from Romans 1:12 today.

“That I may be encouraged together with you
by the mutual faith both of you and I.”

There is this lie in Christianity today that says that “spiritual” people don’t need others, just their relationship with God. Some people who know how to read and study the Word and have clear spiritual vision reveal that it is actually quite clouded when they act like they don’t need others. Man was not created to be alone, as we can see when God provided Adam with Eve in Genesis 2:18. Throughout Scripture we can see that we need others encouraging and helping us along in our pursuit of Christ. To say that we can do it alone, or cannot find others to do it with us does not suffice. We must share in mutual faith with others.

“Two are better than one,
Because they have a good return for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm;
But how can on be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another,
two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12


A threefold relationship is strongest because it includes the two of mutual faith and the Lord. Man is not meant to be alone. Life is better with companionship, God declared this at creation. In Titus 2, Paul shows how important this companionship is for spiritual edification by calling the older men and women to encourage and admonish those younger than them to walk in the way of the Lord. The second greatest commandment, following the call to love God with all we are, calls us to love others. It is critical that we seek out and invest in relationships of mutual faith to strengthen our own walk with the Lord, to keep us soft and open to change and for us to be obedient in our love for God.

I know that I have some friends like this, those of mutual faith. Not just other women who are Christians, but others who have a deep rooted passion to know Christ and seek His face actively every day. These friendships, including my marriage, have been teaching me to not be so selfish but to be about putting them as more important than myself, with the Lord as the foundation for the relationship. I was convicted when Bobby challenged the students about not having godly relationships with the people in their lives. Our friendships cannot consist of shallow talk, compromise and rarely mention Christ. I had to ask myself, how am I seeking to encourage the people God has put in my life towards His will?

“And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,
not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together,
as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another,
and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Hebrews 10:24-25


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