His plan, His time

May 19th, 2005

I’m helping Bobby with planning this year’s annual banquet thrown for all the students but in honor of the graduating seniors. It’s one of our bigger events and everyone looks forward to it each year. The students dress up and we have a nice dinner with entertainment and it’s a special time for the seniors. Saying all of that sounds quite simple, but there is more to putting on this night than meets the eye. Being the wife of the youth director I play a big part in coming up with ideas and getting people together to help bring them to pass. This year I have not had quite as much help as I might need so some of my plans have gone by the wayside and today I began to stress about it. A site that I frequent has a “Verse of the Day” box and I almost couldn’t believe that today’s verse was Proverbs 16:9

“A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps”


This verse may not be referring to my banquet but it did show me that no matter the plans I think I need to make I should always be surrendered to where the Lord will take me, sensitive to His direction of my steps. With this in mind and a few conversations of other options for the event I have rested on the issues, knowing that there are such greater and deeper matters in life.

Tonight my older sister Alicia came over for dinner. We watched a show and had a long conversation about faith, family and life. She gave me this beautiful ragtime quilt that she made and assured me that I could take on such a creative endeavor myself. We shall see. I noticed that much of our conversation steers in the direction of whether or not the Lord has planned for something to happen or if He will direct certain things to take place. I find my thoughts on this topic often with situations of controversy, disunity and for a nice way to put it…room to grow in all areas in my life. Many people I know and love are not believers. I don’t always say the right thing. I’m not always an example of godliness. Many times I feel discouraged or anxious in these things and I begin to wonder how God will work His will. I wonder if all of those people will believe before they die or not. I wonder if He will want us to move or stay here for ten years. I’m not even sure how tomorrow will unfold!

All of time is in God’s hands, the past when He was with Abraham, yesterday, an hour ago and He is already in tomorrow. Time is under His rule and all of time transpires in and according to His will. It is not for us to plot out our hours according to our plans and goals. He wants us to walk surrendered and obedient step by step along the path He sets before us. This isn’t saying that we don’t make some plans, certainly we discipline ourselves to wake up, eat meals, sleep and make the most of the time given to us. We should never just sit back and passively be dragged through life. We need to realize constantly that our time belongs to Him and He has a plan in it. Am I acting out a part in it by following obediently on the path He sets before me? Or am I too caught up in my dreams, desires and plans to even squeeze God into my schedule of tomorrows?

Solomon wrote:

“To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to break down and a time to build up;
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain and a time to lose;
A time to keep and a time to throw away;
A time to tear,and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time of war and a time of peace.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Also He put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out
the work that God does from beginning to end.
I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,11,14
Each happening in life occurs at the time the Lord appointed for it. And all of those things are working from beginnings towards an end that He has planned long ago and will bring to the completion that He, not we determine. He makes all of these happenings beautiful in His time. I find it refreshing that even my bad plans and feeble attempts won’t mess with His will. This passage says that nothing can be added or taken away from what God does. What He does shall be forever because He is forever.
The last verse is the wake-up call of this passage, “God does it, that men should fear before Him.” God does what He does so that all may acknowledge that He is Lord. That His perfect work, forever past and forever future will spur us to have reverence and worship of Him. Apart from Him and His plan in His time we are small, lost and pitiful. The best plan that I can lay in the time I’ve been given is obedience to His Word in being faithful to follow each day stepping on the path He sets before my feet. All that I do must begin and end with Him.
Not to us, but to Your name be the glory, O Lord…


The Option of Optimism

May 17th, 2005

This weekend I saw a bumper sticker that read, “Change is inevitable, growth optional”. I thought to myself that it was profound but forgot about it until last night when the topic of change came up in a conversation. My friend noted that change is most often viewed as a negative. Moving, a new job, new school, rearranging the furniture…we usually see changes as unwelcome. When I bought our new sofa, it took Bobby several days to get used to it before he said, “Okay, I like it now.”

We are like this in such little ways in life, no wonder why huge adjustments cause us to plummet to discouragement and despair. Change is not in itself a negative. It is to make something different or things taking a turn or new direction. Some good changes are marriage, graduation, summertime, getting in shape, learning something you never knew. I think our misconceptions of change might have something to do with our comfort factor. We grow accustomed to habits and conditions and when they change different than we wanted we are unhappy. My friend and I were laughing to ourselves at how we have had this perspective and then wondered why we aren’t growing in the Lord. If you are a believer you are called to a lifestyle of change.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification.
For God did not call us to uncleanness, but to holiness.”
1 Thessalonians 4:3, 7
Christians are called to be constantly changing and transforming into the likeness of Christ. In this sense, change certainly is not bad, instead it is the best thing that can be happening in us! Our growth from childhood to adulthood is evident. We’ve grown in height, size, weight, and hopefully maturity. As the years have gone by our relatives and friends expected to see us grow and change. It isn’t any different spiritually. It should be expected that we will grow from year to year in maturity of the Lord. We stunt our growth when we avoid change and hold on to the patterns and habits of our old lives.
“Put off concerning your former conduct,
the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,
and be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
and that you put on the new man which was created according to God
in true righteousness and holiness.”
Ephesians 4:22-24
If I am going to be putting off my sin and putting on holiness change is something I need to get used to. Too often we settle for a mediocre Christian life, one that has little change and trials, and with that, little victory and growth. We pray when something is troubling us, speak up only if cornered and try to cope through life with Christianity as one of our many good intentions. This is not God’s will. But rather sanctification and holiness, a dynamic, hope-filled and victorious way of life. It may present hardships, temptations and uncertainties but in obedience to His will we will grow and deepen, develop and mature in Him to be that which He re-created us to be.
My friend and I talked about how we are prone to quitting. When things become a challenge we back out and give up. We figured that much of this is due to a lack of trust and hope. We forget that God is so good to us. We forget that the Word is a record of His miraculous works among us. We forget to what we have been called. We lose our focus on Him and look at life negatively instead of through Christ’s redemptive power. The pessimist sees the glass as half-empty, the optimist, half-full. The pessimist sees the obstacles to be overcome, the optimist, opportunities. A pessimist fails to see what Christ can accomplish above and beyond the obstacles.
John MacArthur wrote some challenging words on this in his book Drawing Near:
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On one occasion Jesus had just finished teaching and healing a crowd of thousands of people. Night was falling and the people were beginning to get hungry. Apparently Philip was responsible for the food, so Jesus asked him, “Where are we to buy bread, that these may eat?” (John 6:5). Philip said, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, for everyone to receive a little” (v. 7). In other words, “We don’t have enough resources in our whole savings account to buy enough food for a group this size!” Philip’s calculating, pragmatic, pessimistic mind could reach only one conclusion: this is an utter impossibility.
Jesus knew all along how He was going to solve the problem, but He wanted to test Philip’s faith (v. 6). Philip should have passed the test because he had already seen Jesus create wine from water at the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11). Despite Philip’s failure, Jesus didn’t give up on him. Instead, from five barley loaves and two fish He created enough food to feed the entire crowd, thus replacing Philip’s pessimism with a reaffirmation of divine sufficiency.
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I know that there is a little bit of Phillip in me. I’ve been saved by God’s power. I’ve known His goodness, seen His grace. He has answered my prayers and blessed me time and time again. But sometimes I just don’t remember Him. I lose my focus and let pessimism rob me of hope and joy instead of seeing Him work through the obstacles and impossibilities in my life. Change is inevitable in life, but growth is optional. I choose the option of keeping my eyes fixed on the Lord and trusting in His sovereign sufficient will. He never fails us.
“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church of Christ Jesus
to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
Ephesians 3:20-21


Enough

May 16th, 2005

It has been a whirlwind weekend of travel and activity. Bobby’s youngest brother Ben graduated from high school and his younger brother Billy from college. The college graduation was held outside in the 80 degree Valencia sun, a factor that contributed to the sheer exhaustion that Bobby and I are experiencing. All of the travel combined with a full day of Sunday activties and we are spent. Bobby is fortunate to have the day off from work and I am doing my best to make it through my last deadline here at my office today.

It’s interesting to me how good and bad always seem to come mixed together for us. We were celebrating Billy and Ben’s graduations and then found out on Friday that Bobby’s grandma (on his father’s side) had died. It seems that amidst happiness there is grief and amidst success, there is failure. I am finding myself more accustomed to this bitter sweetness of life. One that has highs and lows and all the while learning to live balanced under the care of the Lord, finding that these good and bad times are the opportunities that grow depth and dependence in Him.

I like how my father-in-law said, “Thankfully we can find all we need in Him.” I can’t imagine how lost and empty it would feel to have life pass me by without the Lord to grant the grace and strength for each day, guidance and direction for life from His Word and the perspective of eternity and hope in His salvation. Life without Him is no life at all. I am so grateful that He has saved me and is working in my life.

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.

For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me with Your love,
All I have in You is more than enough.



To Be Continued…

May 12th, 2005
It’s been a difficult week. It isn’t that bad things are happening, my world isn’t falling apart…but it isn’t thriving either. Sometimes I don’t like to admit it, but I struggle. I have had several days in a row now struggling with selfishness, emptiness, frustration, impatience and fear. I find myself in a bittersweet sphere in which I am the enemy. That’s the bitter part. The sweet part is the Lord and how He is always good. He has given me a loving husband, a comfortable home, a well-paying job, consistent accountability in godly friends, young students to minister to, challenging books I’m reading and many things happening day to day. Why the struggle?
I am learning something about myself and I know that I am not alone in this lesson. It mostly has to do with taking my eyes off of Christ and focusing instead on something I must do, the downward spiral has begun! Let me explain, I am having wonderful days focusing my thoughts on the Lord, studying the Word, abiding in prayer, fellowship and opportunities. Then, and I don’t know how it happens but something sets off stress and tension. I go from looking upward and focusing on our great God and experiencing life’s issues as small in comparison to Him; and I begin to look away from the Lord and as I try to somehow work out or “handle” all of the things that I feel I must do, life’s issues that once seemed small, have completely blown up to a huge proportion. Almost without exception in my life, this happens because I start to focus on self. My husband and I refer to this as that persons “show”. Suddenly life becomes hectic and somehow all of the things I was seeking to honor the Lord in become all about me. I need to get things done that I want to. I begin to shift the blame to anything other than me. I start being fussy, quiet and irritable. Life turns into one big “Christa Show”.
This week Bobby and I have both been feeling this way but both have been really fighting it. I notice this patter in me and I know that I don’t have to succumb to it. Christ has overcome this sinful patter of selfish ambition in me in salvation; I don’t have to live in it. I have clearly gotten much better at rejecting the temptation of a “Christa Show”, but somehow I do not have a total victory over it either. This is frustrating for me because I am very much about pursuing holiness and living a victorious life in the Lord. Bobby and I really can help each other with this because we can sense when the other is giving in to selfishness and have learned to talk about it in a productive way. We had one of these conversations and I thank the Lord for it.
I am coming off of a week of feeling empty, and I should. When we focus on ourselves we will always be empty. When we focus on ourselves life feels dry, meaningless and we get tired. The best part about realizing and admitting I am wrong, confessing that I have been living so selfishly is that God restores me. He has given me His peace, strength and joy, I can learn to focus on Him and walk in His Spirit.
Last night at our student Bible study, we talked about being an example in purity. Bobby made a point that hit this area in my heart. He said that the goal of purity is not to just stay away from sin. So often we think that if we aren’t doing anything really bad that we are okay. But the question should rather be, what good am I doing. The goal is to walk in holiness with the Lord. It isn’t about staying away from or trying to avoid a “Christa Show”. It’s about running to the Lord, being broken before Him. We should not ask, “How much can I get away with?” But instead, “How pure can I be?” It shouldn’t be about how much of me and my desires and selfish ambition can I get away with. It should be all about more of Him and less of me, crying out John the Baptist’s words,
“He must increase, but I must decrease”
John 3:30
We grow so weary of well doing because we focus so much on ourselves. We want to arrive and have the race run. We want to be holy, but we’d rather skip the process and pain. We don’t realize that if that were the case we would be missing out on so much that the Lord wants to show us. If there was less of me in the picture, there could be so much more of Him. I could see Him and know Him. Life is a race, a journey, a story. I struggle and I grow. With John’s words as my prayer today I am not feeling discouraged, but rather have hope in the fact that He is not finished the good work He began in me, “will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:5-7) His work is to be continued…


Free to Focus

May 10th, 2005

It’s been a busy couple of days here at my office. Our last deadline for the season is next Monday so I need to have all things ready to go before the weekend. It’s funny how when I rush, things end up being more trouble than if I had just taken the time to slowly do them right the first time. I’m learning simply to slow down, re-checking my work and enjoying not having to do things over . I’m also learning to enjoy slowing down before and after work hours. If I wake up earlier the whole morning transpires so much more smoothly and when I come home and have my evening better thought out and organized I feel refreshed in the time of quiet and rest.

I feel that I have many things to look forward to in the coming weeks and months, but the Lord is teaching me that running around in a frantic panic is not going to make time transpire any faster or prepare me better for when the times do arrive. I’m learning more about being faithful in the small things, like unloading the dishwasher, balancing the checkbook and keeping my closet organized. It may seem silly, but having these things in order makes doing other things that really seem to matter, so much better. Outward things are not always in my control, but my heart and mind certainly are and I want them to always be directed towards the Lord. I used to be able to have the perfect excuse at the ready when things felt hectic and I was not exercising self-control. “I’m tired”, “I haven’t eaten yet”, “I have a headache”…my list would go on and on, but I realized that my physical body does not control my mind. My heart, mind and soul are influenced by the physical, but it does not determine what I chose to say and how I chose to respond. That is the difficult part. It seems so acceptable to say, “I’m tired, that’s why I got so upset and yelled and threw something across the room”. The reality is clear, I was tired, but my tiredness did not force me to sin. I picked that option all on my own. This is a frustrating realization because then I am out of excuses. But it is also a challenge for spiritual growth, because I can use each opportunity of physical frustration to build strong habits spiritually.

Reading in Psalm 46 today and I felt overwhelmed as I saw how it spoke directly to this struggle in my heart:

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“God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.

There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn,
The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Come behold the works of the Lord,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.

Be still and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.”
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This Psalm speaks of God as sovereign, adequate, and powerful. It shows that in all of the instability, chaos and even war, God is constant and unmoved. The Lord is compared to things that we would normally find quite stable–the earth and mountains. Sometimes we experience the earth and sea being moved, such as an earthquake or tsunami. Even then, the Lord is not moved. It gives a vision of chaos and uncertainty and then contrasts it by showing that God is a refuge and help for He is in our midst.
Verse ten states the well known command, “Be still and know that I am God.” This is a call to stand firm, fixed on Him amidst all external shaking. I don’t know why it seems so hard to obey these two commands to “be still” and “know”. In my life it has been clearly a matter of recognizing His sovereignty, goodness and sufficiency. This is where the struggle begins because for Him to be my center, my drive and my all means that I cannot be. When I am still and knowing Him, He is in the midst of my world. I give all to Him with trust and surrender. I have found comfort and rest in this surrender. He takes over all that I do and all that I am. I don’t have to run about trying to make something of my life, but simply can be faithful to follow the path He sets before my feet….all for His glory.


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