I was listening to a Christian radio station yesterday while I ran an errand and was tuned in just long enough to hear the last call for a question and answer program. The caller, a man named Tom, was concerned about his daughter:
“…She’s living with a man she hasn’t even known that long. Several friends have told me all I can do it love her unconditionally and hope she’ll come back to the Lord and her family. Others have told me that what she is doing is unbiblical and that I must confront her about it and if she does not change her lifestyle, I will need to let her go. I’ve talked to her about it some, but she brushes me off. So now I’m calling to find out your perspective about what the Bible has to say on this…?”
The radio host then asked, exactly what I was wondering, “Tom, is your daughter a believer?”
The caller was silent for a few moments and then spoke rather sharply, “She’s my daughter!”
“Right, I understand that she is your daughter, but has she claimed to be a believer…has there been a time where you witnessed fruit in her life that leads you to believe she is a Christian?”
Again, Tom was silent for a few seconds before he replied sternly, “She is
my daughter, I don’t think I know what you are getting at…”
The guest pastor on the show intervened, “Well, Tom, we are just trying to figure out if there was a time that your daughter prayed to become a Christian or made that decision to follow Christ? Whether she has or not will help us help you figure out how to approach this situation.”
Tom was quick to respond this time, “Yeah, I think–I’m sure she must have prayed at some point when she was little…I don’t really remember, but I don’t see how that matters either way. I raised her to know better. Since she was raised to know better, what difference does it make?”
At this point in the broadcast I had arrived at my destination, so I didn’t get to hear anymore. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Tom’s question-what difference does it make? This isn’t the first time I’ve heard or seen parents treat their children this way, assuming they are believers, without ever seeing fruit or hearing their faith claimed. In the church we do a disservice to others in making this assumption. There are so many people who think they are Christians but are not. Many of these people are children of believing or church-going parents. These children grow up in church, know the Bible, have all the “right” answers and are all around “good kids”. Sometimes it is never a question of salvation because it is assumed that the children have simply accepted and become one with their surroundings–Christian home, Christian school and church.
It is encouraging to see godly parents modeling the fruit of the Spirit, training their children in the way they should go, setting standards for behavior, taking their family to church, speaking the truth in love…but none of this will make someone believe. Only the Holy Spirit can do a saving work in a person’s heart. No one will be welcomed into heaven simply because his mother professed faith and his father followed the Lord. John 3:3 says, “…unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” We cannot inherit salvation from our parents. Billy Graham’s statement is true, “God has no grand-children.”
“But as many as received Him, to them
He gave the right to become children of God,
to those who believe in His name:
who were born, not of blood,
nor of the will of the flesh,
nor of the will of man, but of God.”
John 1:12-13
Salvation is the divine work of God through the blood of His son and the drawing of the Holy Spirit. It cannot be accomplished by human effort or produced by human means because it is the power of God working in us that makes us His children. God will sometimes use parents, church, and other Christian influences to draw someone to Himself. But these things do not create the believer, they are simply tools that He uses.
I am concerned that this might be true of some of the students in our youth group. They have grown up in a Christian environment and they know all the answers, but their faith may not be their own. At home they follow the rules, at church they are involved in activities, and their friends are others just like them. I wonder if I lived this way all my life unchallenged, without examining faith (2 Corinthians 13:5), if in the end I would have just been deceived. I don’t want people to doubt their salvation, but I also don’t want people to think they are saved if they are not. Sometimes in our blind acceptance, lack of relevant questions and silence on critical matters towards others we make assumptions about their spiritual cconstitution. We certainly should not be rejecting and harsh toward people. Christians should be the most loving, friendly, and welcoming people anyone knows. But we should also be the most truthful.
In being silent about the truth, Christians and churches everywhere have helped close the gap of difference between the believing and un-believing. Where Scripture refers to a dynamic and profound contrast of lives, today we have grown confused on the definition of true Christianity as many who claim to believe look more and more like the world. Ephesians 4:17-32 gives a powerful illustration of the new life of one who believes by describing it as putting off concerning the former ways of life and putting on the new life that has been created in Christ. The former or old way of life can be characterized by self-centeredness, ignorance, and shamelessness, greed, sexual immorality, and idolatry. The new way of life is characterized by Christ-centeredness, knowledge and obedience to the truth, sensitivity to sin, new thoughts and attitudes of holiness.
The biggest difference between a believer and a non-believer is that of sin. A non-believer is bound to his sinful nature. He has no control over himself because sin controls him. He cannot do any good and cannot please God because he is lost in his sin. A believer, on the other hand, no longer has the natural excuse for sin, because he has been given a new heart and mind. Sin is no longer a struggle, but a choice. Sin has no power over the believer. This is what sets us apart.
I really like a verse in the song “In Christ Alone” which speaks of Jesus power when He rose from the dead and conquered sin, “And as He stands in victory, sin’s curse has lost its grip on me! For I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.” Sin has no grip on a believer. That is why we have grown so confused over who is and isn’t of the faith. We see people living as though they are bound to sin, but by their attendance to church or profession from their own lips, we think they are Christians. Sadly a believer will sometimes still choose to sin, but this is not his master. Having believed, the pattern of a believers life is no longer characterized by sin and self, but rather victory and obedience to Christ.
I don’t know if Tom’s daughter is a believer or not, but I hope that the host of the radio program helped him see why that matters. We might be able to make it through life feeling happy and healthy, enjoying fun with family and friends, not being too bad morally but not sold out to Christ either. We might feel like we are getting by, but none of that really matters. One of the most frightening passages in Scripture is when Jesus talks about the true way to Him. He says that many people will say His name and do things in His name and contrasts this with those who do the will of the Father. He says that those who obey His Father will enter the kingdom of heaven, but to those who claimed an empty faith He will say, “I never knew you, depart from Me…” (Matthew 7:23)
That will be the end. It won’t matter then what people think of you, how many holidays your family celebrated, how many hours you put in at the gym, the clothes you wore, or even how much church you attended…all that will matter is whether or not your life was obeying the will of the Father. I hope you would agree that the difference between a believer and un-believer makes all the difference in the world…
