In English the Hebrew name “Jehovah Jira” means–”the Lord will provide” and He certainly is true to His name. I was spending time with one of our high school girls yesterday afternoon and when I left our freezer looked like this:

“Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men.
For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry with goodness.”
Psalm 107:8-9

Little Tyler is ten weeks old today! I am getting into taking more pictures because Tyler is so alert during the day and has really started laughing and smiling all the time. He’s sleeping longer at night now, so I think that’s why he’s much happier during the day. My favorite new change in him is all the baby talk he does. First thing in the morning I put him up on my pillow, like in the picture on the left, and he’ll just sit there smiling, laughing and talking to me with little “ooo” “goo” and “aah” sounds. It’s just the sweetest thing and we are enjoying each day. Who knew such a tiny little person could be so much fun!

All week I’ve been blessed by the Psalms I’ve been reading on a blog Bobby started for the high school students. On this blog we can all read and discuss the Psalm for the day. It is also encouraging to read the comments left by others. Today’s is Psalm 118 which begins and ends with–“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”

I am learning these days, with small numbers holding down our bank account, that I always have something to thank the Lord for. I could have no money at all, and I would still have so many things to give thanks for. Some things that come to mind are–God’s Word and His salvation, my family–Bobby and little Tyler especially, health, the beautiful sunny day, our home, this computer, my car, my good friend Missy. I’ve been amazed every day this week how we still have food to eat. I haven’t been able to go grocery shopping in awhile but somehow there is still food in the fridge and cabinets. When we sit down to dinner, Bobby looks at me and say, “Wow where did you get all this!?” And I just say that I found it in the kitchen. I don’t really think that food is somehow magically appearing in the kitchen, but I can definitely see that the Lord is good and that deserves my praise of thanks!

This quote is from a book I’m reading called A Heart for God by Sinclair B. Ferguson. I read this part this morning and my mind feels like it could burst just trying to understand the reality that God did not come from anything–He was not made or derived in some way–instead He is and has eternally existed in Himself. I don’t know what to think but awe.

As small little creations our minds cannot contain such a great mystery as God. Though I find this fact of God’s eternal existence to be extremely puzzling, it also produces a reverence. I like how Ferguson says, “Try as we may, God’s being defies our understanding.” I’m really enjoying this book because it is helping me see some amazing things about God. I want to have a clear, right view of just how awesome God is. I think that in turn I will have a much more accurate perspective of how small and powerless I am–in desperate need of God. Later in this chapter Ferguson says:

It’s Friday again and we’re enjoying true spring weather! It’s a beautiful 73 degree sunny day, perfect for going on a walk. Tyler had a great check-up at the doctor’s this week. He’s grown so much–he’s a little over 22 inches long and weighs a little over 13 pounds! At this appointment he had his immunizations, which was a traumatic event. He was simply surprised by the first needle and then with the second his mouth opened, but no sound came out, then his face turned all red and he screamed. Hard for Tyler getting the shots and us watching! But we are thankful that he is healthy and happy that’s all over.

Today we had my car smogged for the registration that is due. Money can be a tough issue. I want to be frugal and responsible and I don’t like using credit, but what do you do when you have no money and have to pay for something? I’ve been learning a lot about money and not because we have a lot of it but because these days the bank account is at quite a low. I don’t ever want to have comfort or security in something other than the Lord because I don’t need money, what I need is Him. I can see how the Lord is using this time of monetary insecurity to get all my dependence and reliance to be focused on Him. No matter how low our balance might be in the checkbook, God is faithful. We always have food, our home and each other. It is my sinful heart that worries and wants. But what the Lord wants is to fill my heart completely like John 3:30 says, “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

By the power of your Spirit open my eyes, Lord
Let the depths of my heart be exposed
Lord, in vain I’ve persisted to be self-sufficient
Jesus, teach me dependence on you

In our high school Bible study we’ve been talking about prayer. Last night Bobby’s lesson was “Why Pray?” I’ve thought a lot about this question. I used to think–”Everything God wants to happen will, so why even bother to pray?” I’ve tried journaling my prayers. I’ve tried acronyms like the classic ACTS one–Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. When I was in college I tried to pray every morning, but I ended up too rushed and would put it off. I also tried praying before I went to sleep, but I ended up falling asleep during my prayer. I even tried what one of my friends did. She would make a list of things she needed to pray about and then assign them each an hour in her day. So that during the nine o’ clock hours she would pray for her family sometime during that hour. During the ten o’ clock hours she was praying for her church, during the eleven o’ clock hours she prayed for the girls in her small group, etc. She told me that this was how she could discipline herself to pray “without ceasing.”

Honestly, I have struggled in prayer. I could never seem to get myself to be disciplined in it and when I did spend time praying, I often fumbled with my words, unsure of what to say. Something that contributed to my feeling so lost on prayer was that I was trying all kinds of methods with my mouth instead of having my heart in the right place.

Prayer is talking to God. I love how Cliff McManis said in his book, Christian Living Beyond Belief, “According to the Bible, prayer is talking to God. It is personal conversing and communing with the Creator of the universe. God talks to us through the Scriptures; we talk to God through prayer.” When I pray, I am talking to God. Wow! My words and thoughts are not just hitting the ceiling. As a believer my prayers are heard in the very throne room of heaven, by the very ear of God Himself. I was reading Isaiah 40 the other day and verse 26-28 say–

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings the starry host out one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

I can talk to the Creator, this is amazing. Sometimes we can focus so much on our end of prayer–how to pray, what to ask, which acronym to follow, how we think we don’t have time. But really, we should get the focus off of ourselves or the fact that we aren’t sure what to say. We need a bracing reality check. Prayer is talking to God, the Creator of the Universe. Either this will blow our minds, or we don’t know God very well.

I’ve always thought I had reasons for why I’m not very good at talking to God, but last night Bobby made a point that showed me they weren’t reasons, but excuses. His point was this: We don’t pray because of sin in our hearts. James 4:17 drives this point home. “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”

In my small group we talked about this verse and what some of these sins are that keep us from prayer. Some things I thought of were: laziness, selfishness with my time, and procrastinating. I was encouraged to then read 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confessing sin right off reminds us of our urgency to pray. We usually only pray when we have needs like an upcoming test, job interview, family problems, sickness, an empty bank account. But when we’re having a lovely spring day and don’t think we have any big needs, why pray? One thing that’s the same every day is my sin. Everyday I sin and must pray so that I can confess it and be forgiven.

The truth is that we need to pray, because whether we think we do or not, we need God at all times and for all things. It is He who makes the sun to rise each morning and set each night. He has given us our families, friends, homes and clothes. He is the one who continually provides the money to pay our bills, food in the refrigerator, hot water for a shower. We should never think so casually of God to think that we don’t need Him. We should never be so ungrateful as to think that there is anything that we have that He has not given us. He is giving us our next breath and we should use it to praise Him in prayer.