Blakeyblog

We’ve lived in our new condo for over a month now. Until last week there were still boxes sitting around, I guess once the main things were unpacked I didn’t really know what to do with some of the boxes of “stuff.” Then I start thinking that if I don’t know what to do with it and there is really no place for it, why keep it?! Not everything is in its right place and there are still some pictures to be hung, but all in all our house feels like home now.

Since we’ve been married I’ve always tried to make sure that our home was comfortable, clean and not chaotic. During the last few years I also worked full-time outside of our home so I would “keep house” usually at night after work or on the weekends. For the last seven months I’ve haven’t been working outside the home, and I can fully devote my time and energies to making our home a better place.

Life seems so much better these days because I have something that seemed divided before–my time. I’ve noticed that I can consistently accomplish things at home when that is where I work! It is no longer a difficult task to keep the house organized, plan meals, shop frugally and have the laundry done. For the first time in my married life, doing things like eating breakfast, cleaning, organizing, and cooking don’t seem rushed and I am so thankful that it is possible for me to stay home to do these things instead of trying to squeeze them into my schedule. I didn’t know that I could have such joy in keeping our home. But I am really enjoying managing our home full-time now and knowing that this frees Bobby up to immerse himself in what God has called him to do is very rewarding. This vintage-style sign is hanging above my stove, but even though I don’t really have a bell for people to ring, I want my role as “homemaker” to be more than obligation or going through the motions–I want it to be service that is genuinely from my heart.

Being a homemaker is not usually a highly esteemed position. People can act as though it is much more commendable to be a success in the workforce even if that means paying for child and home care to free them up to do so. I’ll admit that some people do not portray well the idea of working inside the home. Some women seem very frazzled and overwhelmed by this task. I’m definitely not saying that I don’t have difficult days. I had one of “those days” last week where I was in my pj’s till noon and couldn’t seem to get anything done. But that for sure shouldn’t be the norm and I’m glad because I was terribly unproductive and had a full couple of days after that trying to make up for the things I didn’t do. I don’t want to be superwoman or anything, but I do want to be a woman who pleases God.

Proverbs 31:10-31 says that an excellent wife is very valuable and hard to find. Her energy is toward her husband and her household. She is trustworthy and diligent as she watches over and cares for her home. She is resourceful, hardworking and even has time to reach out to those in need. She smiles at the future because she is well prepared and fears the Lord. Her husband and children call her blessed. This is what God values in a wife and mother and I hope that what characterizes this woman will be increasingly more true of me.

Something I’m working on these days is being resourceful, I’m trying to shop the sales, clip coupons and have even have a “side business” selling books online. When we moved here I posted some of our old books we didn’t want on Amazon.com and have sold almost all of them. I have even gone to some thrift stores and book sales and found some deals that I turned and sold for a profit. It’s not a lot of money but it is nice to have some extra to buy something fun or go out to dinner now and then. In July I made much more than I had in previous months so today Bobby and I bought a Papasan chair that we’ve liked for awhile. It is so enjoyable for me to work at making our home a sweet place to be.

Yesterday I read this quote on my church’s website:

It’s been awhile since I’ve written an update on little Tyler. But he is growing and changing so much I thought you’d all like to hear how he is doing! He is just over 5 months old now and last week had his check-up with the doctor. Usually babies have their checkups at four and six months, but we were transitioning to Compass and didn’t have the insurance set up yet, so he had his four month check-up at five months. He is healthy and had all his immunizations. Tyler is in the 50th percentile for head circumference and height, but 70th for weight! I haven’t weighed him in awhile so I was very surprised when the scale read sixteen pounds!

Bobby and I laughed when the doctor said, “He’ll probably be crawling this time next week.” How could he know that!? But ever since that appointment we’ve noticed that Tyler can scooch around pretty good up on his hands and he is rolling over all over the place. So I guess we’ll see, he’s got a few days left in order to prove the doctor’s prediction true or not!

A couple of weeks ago we were a part of a child dedication at church. I gave this a lot of thought beforehand because I realize that something like a dedication really does nothing for the child. In fact it is almost more a dedication of the parents who want to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). A dedication cannot do anything spiritually for a child and is no assurance that the child will later become a believer. Bobby and I wanted to be a part of it because we want our brothers and sisters at Compass to keep us accountable to train him up in the way he should go. Since we were able to do that I’ve been encouraged by several older mothers who have talked with me about parenting and given me some helpful advice.

One example I found of a child being dedicated to God is in 1 Samuel where Hannah gives Samuel to the Lord. I am sure you remember the story of Hannah and how her husband Elkanah had two wives and the other wife mocked Hannah because she was barren. Hannah was grieved and wept year after year because she desired a child but it was not the Lord’s time. One day she went up to the temple and made a vow to the Lord that if He would look on her situation and grant her a child that she would give that child back to the Lord all the days of his life (1 Samuel 1:11).

The Lord heard her and gave her in addition to Samuel, three sons and two daughters. After Samuel was born she took him to the temple and gave him back to the Lord. As I read her story I was reminded that Tyler isn’t really ours either. He belongs to the Lord and has merely been entrusted to us and we want to give him back to the Lord, not just in formal dedication but as a day-to-day commitment as we raise him like Proverbs 22:6 urges–

Anxiety, worry, fear and stress are common responses to the problems we face. But when we consider the Biblical commands–“Be anxious for nothing,” (Phil. 4:6) “Casting all your cares upon Him,” (1 Peter 5:7) “Do not worry about your life” (Matt.6:25)—it is sad that so many of us still respond to life’s trials and circumstances this way.

This book gave a helpful overview of anxiety that clearly showed why anxiety is sin and gave great Biblical instruction for putting on qualities to counteract it(i.e.: contentment and gratitude). On a side note–though it was very easy to read, I noticed that it didn’t sound very much like John MacArthur’s other books or even how he speaks. The book is simpy an adaptation from sermon transcripts and was not edited by his usual editor, so it reads different, but is still definitely worth a read!

George Muller said, “Where faith begins, anxiety ends; where anxiety begins, faith ends.” This pointed statement is a good summation of MacArthur’s approach to anxiety as well. He definitely teaches that anxiety is a spiritual issue of the heart as one stands before God not just as some describe it as an uncontrollable attack or a reaction their circumstances forced them into. I was convicted by his explanation that anxiety is simply distrust in God’s power and care. He gave a great example of the Israelites and how they complained against God while they were in the wilderness because they doubted He would bring them to the promised land. The silly thing is that all the while they were witnessing miracles and wonders. We can so easily trap ourselves into a tunnel vision and forget just who our God is!

Below I have listed some points that I found to be encouraging in attacking anxiety in my own life.

React to problems with thankful prayer. Paul said, “In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6) What MacArthur says about this is very helpful because I can sometimes come to God very upset about my circumstance and almost accusatory instead of thankful for the opportunity to come to Him and to be sharpened and grow. MacArthur writes:

Put away grumbling and be content. When we question or criticize how God is working things out in our lives it will only breed more worry and anxiety over what is to come. MacArthur writes about this “emotional bellyaching” and warns us not to debate God.

“We start arguing with God about why things are the way
they are or why we have to do what we’re supposed to do.
We think we have a better idea than God about the job,
marriage, church, home or any other situation we’re in.
We are living in a fallen world. It isn’t always going to be
the way we like it, and the people around us aren’t always
going to be the way we’d like them to be. When we complain
about them we are positioning ourselves for His judgment.

James warned, “Do not complain, brethren, against another,

that you yourselves may not be judged; behold the Judge is
standing right at the door. (James 5:9) God is always in
earshot of our complaints.”
p. 118

Remember whose Name I bear. We should never act in such a way that would be inconsistent with who we are. We must not forget who our heavenly Father is. This quote was a good reminder for me:

Temporary cures for our anxiety, stree or worry should not suffice. Instead we can hold fast to the truth of God’s promises to us and trust Him. Anxiety is not something that we should struggle with because God gives us the power to overcome it!

A few years ago I wrote a brief article on the subject of anxiety and how to overcome it. Just click this link if you would like to read more! “Be Anxious For Nothing: Living Free From the Control of Circumstances.”

Since Sunday, Tyler and I have been missing Bobby. He is doing a brief outreach trip in Los Angeles with some of our high school students and won’t be back until tonight. I didn’t really want to be home alone so I went up to my parent’s house for a few days to spend some time with them. My mom got me a beautiful glider rocking chair–the one I bought several months ago for $20 didn’t last long. The new one is blue and very comfortable with no squeaks or grindings when I rock, so I was excited to bring that back.

After I put Tyler to bed I was checking blogs and noticed that mine hasn’t been updated in a week, which is a long time for me! I’m glad that I have time to blog right now because I have something on my heart that I really want to share.

Most of you know or know of my husband. Bobby is one of the friendliest people I know and is loyal and loving especially to his close friends, particularly Ty and Brad. I am blessed to see his interactions with two of them on a regular basis and have missed it this week as we have all been different places. Bobby and Ty have a truly dynamic friendship–I’ve heard people liken it to that of David and Jonathan! Last year I wrote an entry about their friendship and some of the things I have learned from observing their interaction. You can read that blog here–”A Lesson in Friendship.”

Since our recent move to Orange County I have been learning some new lessons in friendship as Bobby and Ty were reunited with their good friend Brad. Many of you know that Bobby, Ty and Brad enjoy writing and recording worship music together and keeping up a website called Godsongmusic. It’s so encouraging to me that they put so much time and thought to writing music and working on blogs for the site. If you have never visited it I hope you will so that you can be blessed by what God is doing through them.

As Bobby and Ty are out of town and Brad is busy working on his dissertation, I’ve been missing their fellowship and in its absence have noticed some of the aspects of their friendship that I really appreciate.

Gracious. By “gracious” I mean–going out of the way to be kind, quick to forgive, and accepting of others without having to have a reason to do so. I know that it’s not just a temperamant difference, but a spiritual discipline, and this is something that I struggle with. Spending time with these three has challenged me on this and even shown me ways I can think this way toward others. I regularly am graced by Bobby’s quickness to forgive. We should not even keep negative thoughts about people, but once forgiven keep no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).

A couple of weeks ago I walked into the dining room in time to hear Ty saying something nice about someone I was not thinking on so favorably. I’m sad to say that I was selfish enough to try to sway him to think that this person was not to be trusted and especially not accepeted. But I knew that my reason was not Biblical but emotional, and he showed me that I don’t have to be the kind of person that requires people to prove themselves to me before I will accept them. I should think and hope the best of people, instead of assuming negative things or making hasty judgments. Romans 12:15-16 speaks of this–”Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”

Giving. Acts 2:44 is a good description, “Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.” This verse is talking about the believers in the early church, and these three are similar to this together and to others–maybe not in selling all their possessions, but in having all things in common and giving anything that is needed. Whether it is selling personal possessions so that Godsongmusic can have recording equipment or paying for lunch, this is a way of life to them. Before we moved into our new home Ty was trying to find a place to live and when Brad heard this he immediately offered his room. Giving is not limited to money or possessions but also of time–especially days off, energy and prayer. I have often been convicted of the need to be selfless in my love for others when I see how Bobby, Ty and Brad have a loose hold on the things and such a strong desire to serve others in any way that they can.

Morning, noon and night. Bobby, Ty and Brad go all-hours necessary. I don’t just mean how they pull off great high school all-nighter events, record till 3am, or will watch Lost as long as they can stay awake–their devotion to the Lord and His people is truly inspiring.

Brad was studying overseas for a couple of years and I was always encouraged by how he regularly called Bobby and even got a calling card so that Bobby could call him. Their friendship wasn’t fazed much by the long distance and I noticed many of the conversations would be at night when Bobby could talk longer which means it was 8 hours later for Brad! This week Ty took off from work so that he could be a part of the outreach trip to Los Angeles. And I can’t remember how many times Bobby’s phone rings and he drops everything no matter what time it is to talk to either Brad or Ty. When I see this aspect to their friendship I am challenged by how sacrificing of their time they are, but of course, they never seem to act like it is a sacrifice. They treat it like a priviledge. This is something I am striving to emulate–being an anytime kind of person. If our priority is the kingdom of God, we will know that our time is not our own, and that each day is a gift. With this mentality it is not hard to see the importance to “…Exhort one another daily, while it is still called ‘Today’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)

I hope that you will somehow be encouraged by this glimpse into a godly friendship and ministry. I hope that as I continue to learn from these three friends that God will work in my life and relationships these qualities and especially the reality that Bobby, Ty and Brad live–the beauty of true Christian fellowship together.