I’ve been having a wonderful time this last week! Early on in the week I enjoyed my first meeting with the other ladies in the “Ministry Wives” group at our church. Pastor Mike’s wife, Carlynn exhorted us to learn from the example set by a ministry wife–Sarah Edwards, who left a great impact on numerous lives as she kept her home in order, raised eleven children and faithfully loved and served alongside her husband. I was struck by the quotes Carlynn read of how people were deeply affected by her hospitality, unordinary cheerfulness and meaningful conversation. She has an amazing life story which inspired me to seek the qualities that she possessed, namely the depth and intimacy she shared with the Lord.

This discussion about Sarah Edwards had me thinking a lot on how I could be a more godly wife and helper to Bobby because Thursday we celebrated our 4-year anniversary! I can see many ways that we have matured and grown together and I want to continue seeking opportunities to improve as a companion to Bobby, in keeping our home and now as a mother.

I was reflecting on some of the key things I have learned since I’ve been married. I remember someone telling me early on in the first year of marriage that God’s desire was more for my holiness than my happiness in marriage. I thought, that was true, but I feel now that I am learning just how true that is. Now, this is not to say that I am not happy in marriage, I am very much! What I am saying is that marriage has been like a green house for me. I think I’ve probably had more temptations, discouragements and frustrations as a wife than I ever had when I was single. Bobby is a wonderful husband because he is first of all very forgiving toward me and second, concerned about my number one priority–God. Every day he is asking me, “Did you do your daily Bible reading?” “Have you prayed about this or that?” He is a great accountability for me.

One of the main things I think I’ve learned is how necessary it is to command my thoughts and feelings when they want to stray to “self.” I have found it very easy to feel sorry for myself if I start to think about all that I’m doing for others. Because then I start thinking, “What am I getting?” But reality is that I’m not able to do anything for others without the ability that the Lord provides as I depend on Him. John 15:5 says, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” God doesn’t provide the ability for me to only fill my role out of duty either. He changes my heart and mind so that my feelings and thoughts can come into submission to His will so that I can love and serve Bobby with a whole heart as doing it unto the Lord.

In Carolyn Mahaney’s book Feminine Appeal she writes:

Though I have learned some truths about selflessness, I still have a long way to go. My encouragement is found in the promises of God that grant me the mercy of each new day, forgiveness when I fail and the assurance that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)