Today I picked up Tyler’s six month pictures and was so excited to see how they turned out. It’s so wonderful to see him growing and learning to do so many things. He is very good now at pulling himself to up to standing and we are amazed at how fast he can crawl. I’ve had to “baby proof” our place a little bit by putting the plastic guards in the electric sockets, taking things off bottom shelves and making sure the bathroom door is closed when Tyler’s crawling around.

Tyler is such a good sport because we take him most everywhere with us and he doesn’t whine or cry about it. Last night he sat with me in a girl’s small group and just played with his toys. Everyone thought it was great how he would stop playing and stare at someone who was sharing and then respond to her with a “da da ba ooo da.” He is great about going places but one thing I’ve been considering is that I need to be sensitive to him, his needs and limits.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit,
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests,
but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4

I’ve read this verse many times, but I have not taken into consideration that I must have this attitude toward baby Tyler. I am eager to look out for his needs–loving him, playing with him, feeding him, making sure he’s bathed and gets sleep. But I need to have this mind of Christ of looking to put Tyler above me.

Moms can easily think they are doing this simply because they are “servants” to their children. We give up many things for our children–comforts, money, time and sleep just to name a few. But we can probably easily think, “I’ve sacrificed so much for this child!” but still not be humble and lowly as we consider them above us and how to look for their interests. What I’m saying is that the actions might be there, but the heart might not be.

I had the opportunity to attend a counseling conference coming up this next week. This is something I am passionate about and excitedly got on board to attend. A few days ago I was selecting the seminars I would sign up for at the conference and my heart became heavy. I realized at that moment how rigorous this conference would be. A six hour plane flight, back to back seminars where little Tyler would need to be quiet and sitting with me in a classroom setting. He couldn’t be crawling around, babbling or playing too loud or he would be a distraction to the other conference attendees. I would be caring for him and not able to really sit and focus fully on the speakers and probably would not even be able to take notes. I realized that I couldn’t go at this time.

At first I was disappointed because I was so excited about this opportunity and I know I would have enjoyed it. But I feel that the Lord wants me to stay home. Maybe I could go next year. I realized at this time in Tyler’s life, I cannot attend this conference.

I’ve been giving this quite a bit of thought because I know that mom’s can get embittered and feel that “I never get to do anything for me!” But this is not the way any Christian should respond to disappointments. I am not called to be assertive and demanding. I am not called to love myself. I am called to be a servant. I can see that for me this means for this season where Tyler is a young baby I cannot go to this conference, or do other things I might want. But being a Christian is not about my desires or disappointments, but about following Christ’s example as a servant. He humbled Himself so that we could do the same for others, especially a little baby like Tyler.

A couple of weeks ago I finished reading C.J. Mahaney’s Humility: True Greatness. I’ve been thinking about reviewing it but I wasn’t sure how to share about how this little book addresses the big problem of pride. It is simple and easy-to-read but is addresses well the deep sickness of sin in our hearts and presents God’s desire for us to be humble before Him. This book is convicting and encouraging, meditative and practical. Time spent reading this book would be edifying and worthwhile for anyone.

“This is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at My word.”
Isaiah 66:2

I agree with C.J’s description of this verse–”astonishing.” How amazing that God, the Creator of the universe will look upon fallen and sinful people. This verse is also sobering because God does oppose the proud (James 4:6) and they are an abomination to Him (Proverbs 16:5). He writes, “Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him.” (p. 31) and “Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness.” (p. 22). This is why we need to be in the habit of studying and obeying His Word. When we are lowly and humble we can see more clearly how great and deserving He is.

C.J. does a good job in warning his readers to heed conviction of sin and to be sensitive to weak areas where we are prone to pride. My favorite part of this book was where he gave advice on some habits that would beneficial in the quest to winning over pride in our lives. These two really encouraged me to work on them daily in my own battle against pride and striving for humility.

Begin Your Day Acknowledging Your Need For God.

In this section he wrote about how the sin of pride is active. When we allow ourselves to be undisciplined for just a moment, it can creep in and taint our thoughts. He quotes Martin Lloyd-Jones who wrote, “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?” C.J. reflects on this profound statement:

Most of us spend more time listening to lies than we do speaking the truth to ourselves. And the listening process usually starts as soon as we get up. The alarm has rudely interrupted the gift of sleep, and the listening begins. As we stumble through our morning routine,we’re not directing our thoughts in our mind–we’re simply at their mercy. We’re not in charge of our thinking. We’re just there.

But instead, you can declare war on pride by speaking the truth to yourself and set the right tone for your day by mentally affirming your dependence on God and your need for Him.
p. 69-70

Identifying Evidences of Grace.

C.J. explained why identifying evidence of God’s grace in other’s lives will help cultivate humility in my own heart–”This means actively looking for ways that God is at work in the lives of other people.” He encouraged the reader to become very familiar with the lists of fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, gifts of the Spirit in Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 and to then be on the lookout for the Spirit’s working in other’s lives so that we can become more aware of what God is doing around us and not proudly focus on ourselves.

Throughout the book, C.J. presents a beautiful image of humility as being void of anger or bitterness, being God-centered and a servant to others. He helped me remember that pride can be blind and so I need to be open to hear correction from others, especially in areas where I am possibly blinded by pride in my own heart. This book gave me a whole new perspective on the seriousness of pride and the decay it promotes in my heart and life. I am thankful that by God’s grace, He will continue to change me to be lowly and tremble at His Word.

As the month goes on we are continuing to experience a lot of “firsts” with Tyler. Over the weekend, Tyler had his first trip to Disneyland, when I spent the day there with my older sisters. We couldn’t go on many rides, but the ones we did go on he really enjoyed, especially the Jungle Cruise. Another “first” happened this morning when I got him after his nap. I could hear him jabbering away and when I opened the door I was very surprised to see him holding on the side railing standing up in his crib! I wonder what is next…

This week women’s Bible study started and I am so thrilled to be a part of it. We will be studying through James together with a time of worship and teaching and a time where we break into small groups to share and have some practical application and accountability. I’m excited to be in the “young moms” small group because all the ladies there are all in a similar stage of life. I’m really looking forward to meeting with them and learning together for the rest of the school year.

I have never been a part of a women’s Bible study so I’m not sure if ours is dynamically different. I assumed that a women’s study would be a little less meaty, but I was glad to be wrong! Stephanie, the woman who taught this week, spoke the Word of God authoritatively and clearly. She drove home the point that God has spoken to us through His Word, that it has been tested and is true, that we need to place our full confidence in the Bible and develop an appetite for studying and obeying it.

I was most convicted when she started delving into the question–Why do we fail to study God’s Word? I knew in my heart my own excuses for not studying it as much as I should, but then she said them out loud!–

“By nature we are lazy. We don’t like to work and we heed our feelings.”

I know that I have time to study the Word, but it’s just that I choose to do other things instead. I like how Stephanie made the point that it’s easy for weeds to grow–easy to be lazy. We have to work hard at growing the right things–disciplining myself to study and love God’s Word. I need to value God and be awed by the realization that the Creator of the universe has spoken to me in this book. There will be lots of things that distract me and try to take me away from time in His Word, but I need to value it and subject myself to its authority. Only then can God shape my heart and mind and change the way that I live to be pleasing to Him.

Stephanie told a story about how her daughter was in a class where the teacher asked what was most important in life and the student’s biggest response was “money.” She talked about how today we tend to be very motivated by money and we are concerned if we have enough or if we’ll be comfortable when we don’t have as much as we used to. She asked, “If someone wanted to give you $50 if you read your Bible for an hour every day, would you? What if they wanted to pay you more the more you read?” I was sitting there thinking, “Can you introduce me to this person, I’m ready to read and earn!” But seriously, I get her point…our affections are so often with money and wealth rather than God’s Word.

We need to value it and do what it takes to spend time studying it, thinking on it and praying it. The Bible has the power to radically transform our lives, but we miss out on what God wants to do through it because we neglect it. God has humbled Himself to write to us but we ignore Him. That is scary that we think so much of ourselves, that even God is sometimes not enough to make it into our daily routines. I hope you’ll start praying with me for an increased passion for God in His Word.

“I rejoice in following Your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.”
Psalm 119:14

Myth: A pastor is competent to counsel his parishioners.

Fact: Most pastors are armed with only a meager knowledge of behavioral therapies. A pastor’s calling is, primarily, a spiritual one, helping people to find strength in God’s presence and a sense of divine direction in the midst of difficulty. Psychological adjustment is a different matter, and when it requires serious attention, pastors should find ways of partnering with professional counselors or psychiatrists.

This statement, featured in the popular magazine Christianity Today [2/10/92, p. 28], reflects the common perspective most Christians have toward solving behavioral, emotional and relational struggles. This view states, as it says in “fact” above, that we need more than Scripture, more than a pastor, counselor or friend to address serious struggles in life. I say serious struggles; because some would concede that a pastor or wise friend could assist where there is discouragement, minor marriage problems, or a rebellious teen. But for more complex issues–eating disorders, suicidal feelings, addictions and hallucinations, most Christians think that these struggles need the attention of professional counselors or psychologists.

In my previous entry on Biblical Counseling I wrote about the dangers of Christian psychology–”This kind of counseling would grant that the Bible says everything we need to know about salvation and sanctification—’spiritual things,’ but on matters of the emotions, the Bible does not say enough.” Many Christians don’t believe the Bible is sufficient to help them through “all things that pertain to life and godliness…” (2 Peter 1:3)

Many Christians not only have doubts about the ability of Scripture to speak to their problems, but neither are they confident that fellow Christians can be effective enough to be the tools to speak it to them. If we will see real change in our lives and Biblcal solutions to our problems we must find the answers in Christ and in His Word. We don’t need to have a special degree or certification to be able to do this, we need to be redeemed by God and willing to share that truth with others. Paul Tripp, in his book Instruments In The Redeemer’s Hands, says, “Many of us would be relieved if God had placed our sanctification in the hands of trained and paid professionals, but that simply is not the biblical model. God’s plan is that through the faithful ministry of every part, the whole body will grow to full maturity in Christ.”(p. xi)

What does it mean to counsel Biblically?

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God,
and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof,
for correction, for intstruction in righteousness,
that the man of God may be complete,
thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

2 Timothy 2:16-17

The purpose of all counseling is change. The purpose of Biblical counseling is change to make the person more like Christ. In order to conform more to Christ we must belong to Him–being given a new heart capable of being changed. While the goal of most counseling is change that is for a personal and social good, counsel that is Biblical desires the change be acceptable to God. People must hear the gospel and come to a place of repentance and faith. Then they must grow in this faith by turning from their sin to godly living. Scripture contains everything that we need to know about the gospel and salvation. It also contains everything that we need to be sanctified, or transformed to the image of Christ.

Neither of these things can take place without the power and working of the Holy Spirit in their heart. Characteristics of true saving faith(i.e.: the fruit of the Spirit, Galatians 5:6) cannot be manufactured by simply changing behavior. This kind of change is only superficial and temporary. Apart from the Spirit working there is no real change–“It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13) The change that happens when someone heeds Biblical counsel is not mustered up by his will but must be the interworking of the Holy Spirit in his heart and life. Change then occurs from the inside out.

Counsel that is Biblical has God at the center with Scripture speaking into the problems and struggles of our lives. There is a Greek word, nouthesis (and also noutheteo) that means to confront, admonish, warn, teach and train. This word is found in many verses that reflect the heart of what Biblical counsel should embody.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom;
teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
Colossians 3:16

“Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom,
that we may present every man complete in Christ Jesus.”
Colossians 1:28

Biblical counsel is a form of discipleship. It is one believer coming alongside another directing him to God’s Word to confronting him of sin, teaching him to forsake it and walk in the truth instead, and encouraging him to actively walk in obedience to the Lord. This kind of counsel presents our choices clearly, to walk in the Spirit or to walk in sin.

Who is called to counsel?

“Exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’
lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
Hebrews 3:13

Having a clear picture of what counseling is we can see that all Christians are called to counsel in some form. Contrary, to Christianity Today I encourage you to seek counsel from a pastor at your church or an older man or woman in the faith, it is good to get counsel from those sources . But you don’t have to be a pastor or work at a church or have gone to Bible college, any Christian is capable to counsel because they have the power of the Spirit and the truth. God commands us to “exhort one another daily” and to let His Word dwell in us so we will be ready to teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16). Have you ever had someone ask your advice, shared a struggle and then say, “What do you think?” Your response is counsel. Is it Biblical? You are called to be a source of accountability for other believers by encouraging and sharpening them and speaking the truth to them in love (Ephesians 4:15) through confrontation, prayer, encouragement and teaching.

This call is sobering because it means that we must first remove the “log” from our own eyes before we can be of help to others (Matthew 7:1-5). I like how Paul Tripp says, “God uses people, who are themselves in need of change, as instruments of the same kind of change in others.” I hope you will take this call seriously and be available to for God to use you to speak His Word and work His change. God is calling His people to counsel, a call that extends to all of us who are Christians.

It was a beautiful afternoon today and Tyler and I spent a couple of hours at the beach before Bobby and my sisters and their families met up for dinner. The sky was amazing…speckled with white puffy clouds. It was a little breezy so they were also moving fast and Tyler was so amused by lying on his back watching them fly by.

It’s so fun having Tyler with us all the time. He’s getting so much more interested in looking around. He always wants to see what’s going on and likes touching and tastes everything–which is not always good. The beach is right by a train track so every time the train went by and the whistle blew, he would whip around to see it. We got the fire going and he sat and stared at it for a long time. He’s like a little explorer because everything is new for him and something about it being his first time learning about things helps me appreciate them more.

Watching the clouds reminded me of Psalm 104 so I was glad I had put my Bible in the diaper bag so I could read it while I was there: