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Today I picked up Tyler’s six month pictures and was so excited to see how they turned out. It’s so wonderful to see him growing and learning to do so many things. He is very good now at pulling himself to up to standing and we are amazed at how fast he can crawl. I’ve had to “baby proof” our place a little bit by putting the plastic guards in the electric sockets, taking things off bottom shelves and making sure the bathroom door is closed when Tyler’s crawling around.

Tyler is such a good sport because we take him most everywhere with us and he doesn’t whine or cry about it. Last night he sat with me in a girl’s small group and just played with his toys. Everyone thought it was great how he would stop playing and stare at someone who was sharing and then respond to her with a “da da ba ooo da.” He is great about going places but one thing I’ve been considering is that I need to be sensitive to him, his needs and limits.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit,
but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests,
but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4

I’ve read this verse many times, but I have not taken into consideration that I must have this attitude toward baby Tyler. I am eager to look out for his needs–loving him, playing with him, feeding him, making sure he’s bathed and gets sleep. But I need to have this mind of Christ of looking to put Tyler above me.

Moms can easily think they are doing this simply because they are “servants” to their children. We give up many things for our children–comforts, money, time and sleep just to name a few. But we can probably easily think, “I’ve sacrificed so much for this child!” but still not be humble and lowly as we consider them above us and how to look for their interests. What I’m saying is that the actions might be there, but the heart might not be.

I had the opportunity to attend a counseling conference coming up this next week. This is something I am passionate about and excitedly got on board to attend. A few days ago I was selecting the seminars I would sign up for at the conference and my heart became heavy. I realized at that moment how rigorous this conference would be. A six hour plane flight, back to back seminars where little Tyler would need to be quiet and sitting with me in a classroom setting. He couldn’t be crawling around, babbling or playing too loud or he would be a distraction to the other conference attendees. I would be caring for him and not able to really sit and focus fully on the speakers and probably would not even be able to take notes. I realized that I couldn’t go at this time.

At first I was disappointed because I was so excited about this opportunity and I know I would have enjoyed it. But I feel that the Lord wants me to stay home. Maybe I could go next year. I realized at this time in Tyler’s life, I cannot attend this conference.

I’ve been giving this quite a bit of thought because I know that mom’s can get embittered and feel that “I never get to do anything for me!” But this is not the way any Christian should respond to disappointments. I am not called to be assertive and demanding. I am not called to love myself. I am called to be a servant. I can see that for me this means for this season where Tyler is a young baby I cannot go to this conference, or do other things I might want. But being a Christian is not about my desires or disappointments, but about following Christ’s example as a servant. He humbled Himself so that we could do the same for others, especially a little baby like Tyler.