Before Tyler was born I started a subscription to a website for mothers that provided helpful weekly e-mails during the length of the pregnancy and also the first year. The e-mail I just received for this week featured an article–”How should I discipline my baby?”

Featured in the “Ask the Experts” section, a doctor answered a mother’s question about her mischievous 8 month old. The doctor says,

Your job right now is to keep your baby safe, secure, and stimulated. A crawling baby may be old enough to make mischief, but he’s not old enough to learn the difference between right and wrong. Real discipline — the kind that teaches lessons and changes behaviors — will have to wait. Even though your baby can’t grasp discipline, this is a great time to start practicing techniques that will work in the months and years to come. When she pulls on a lamp cord or sucks on a stereo knob, firmly tell her “no” and quickly redirect her to a safer activity. With her short attention span, she’ll quickly forget about causing trouble.

I agree with the “experts” that I need to keep Tyler safe, secure and stimulated and I work to make sure those things are happening daily. I don’t agree with their deduction that babies are not old enough to learn the difference between right and wrong. I had a conversation with my pastor and his wife about discipline and they advised us, “If you wait until day two to train and discipline your child, you’ve waited too long.”

I really do believe that parents set the tone for the child and that a child can be lovingly trained to learn whatever the parents are consistent to teach him. Training needs to be something that parents set the tone for on day one. Of course this doesn’t mean making rules or disciplining a newborn, but praying for and developing good habits are probably a way we start training them at that stage.

I am concerned about the “expert” answer because it seems that our society is always passing off the responsibility for behavior. I’m hearing it a lot about babies, that they can’t understand and that disciplining is not appropriate until they are a year and a half old. When these babies grow up to junior high we say they are just in the “rebellious stage.” When they get into high school society says, “We can’t expect them to know better.” When these kids are adults are they taking responsibility for their behavior? No, they are blaming it on their parents and upbringing. It seems to me that teaching a baby to learn right form wrong can not start too early. Isn’t that the purpose of heeding Proverbs 22:6?

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

When Tyler learned to crawl I was faced with this new aspect of training him. I haven’t really “baby-proofed” the whole house. I picked up things that were a hazard to his safety, but everything else, we thought it would be best for him to learn not to get into. I try not to just say “No” but be more specific– “No fussing” “No touch.” In the living room there are two or three things that Tyler is not supposed to touch.

One day several weeks ago, I was watching Tyler crawl to one of these places. He sat there looking around and I went over to him and said, “No touch” and put him back with his toys. But a couple of minutes later he had crawled back over to it and was looking over his little shoulder to see if I was watching him. I could tell that Tyler knew he wasn’t supposed to touch it because when I’m sitting right there he’ll take one look at me watching him and just crawl away, but when he didn’t think I was watching he thought he could get away with it.

I’m not claiming to be an “expert.” I know I’m at the beginning of this journey of training and disciplining. I feel sad that moms left comments to this website article telling the “experts” that they hadn’t disciplined their children and now their 2 year old is out of control. I agree that parents should never be harsh or short tempered but loving and consistent in their training.

I am reminded of something else our pastor and his wife told us–”If parents don’t discipline their children, God will.” This wasn’t meant to scare us but help us have a sober perspective about the urgent necessity of training and disciplining Tyler according to the Word of God. We can be confident that He is the expert on how we need to parent our kids. I am prayerful that God will use me as an instrument to train Tyler in the way he should go even if it’s contrary to society.

We seem to be reverting back to summer here. It has been eighty to ninety degrees the last few days. Even though we live in Southern California I think it is strange to me to have this hot weather the middle of fall! Yesterday we spent a few hours with my sister and her two children at Disneyland. Her pass allows her to let people in so we had a great time enjoying the park together without having to pay the normal price. Tyler wasn’t so sure about the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. On the two drops at the beginning of the ride he was gripping my arm. He really likes the Jungle Cruise though.

I really enjoyed Bobby’s exhortation to the high school students on Sunday. He is continuing to teach through 1 John in a series called “To Be A Christian Is…” This week was “…Growing Spiritually.” In 1 John 2 he addresses our spiritual state describing it as–babies, young men and fathers. Bobby said, “Spiritual growth is expected.” This is so contrary to what is normally taught in youth groups. Most people think that if a young person (or any person for that matter) thinks that being a Christian is just one event where they pray a prayer that is enough. But they are wrong. Being a Christian means that we must be growing up in Christ, seeking to live like Him.

One part of Bobby’s lesson that he really said well was answering the question, “How do I grow?” He said, “What is one of the main factors in growing physically from being a baby to a young man?–Eating.” We take care to eat three meals and even more a day and that is how we have all grown from infants to adults or somewhere in between. I thought it was great how he showed that this is how we grow spiritually–by “eating” God’s Word.

I know that when I’ve skipped a meal, my stomach hurts and I might even get a headache. We should feel the effects of not “eating” spiritually. Sadly days and weeks can go by and some of our students are not in the Word and don’t seem to notice any effects. But the reality is that if we are not “eating” the Word we are malnourished and weak spiritually.

Bobby said, “If sin is increasing in your life, you are probably not in the Word, daily. If you are studying God’s Word each day, you will see a decrease of sin in your life.” I know how true this is. When I neglect to study Scripture I am not as keenly aware of how totally perfect God is and how seriously I need to take obeying Him–so I allow myself to sin. However, when I am daily and intently studying God’s Word I am much more alert and active in resisting temptation and seeking to be obedient to Him. I hope you will check out Bobby’s lesson for yourself and make sure that you spend some time in God’s Word today!

“Your word I have hidden in my heart,
that I might not sin against You.”
Psalm 119:11

This last week Tyler turned eight months old. Everyone says of raising their children–”It flies by so fast!” I can see how this is because we can see Tyler’s changes and growth in just a couple of days and weeks. It was only one month ago that Tyler learned to crawl, and only a couple of weeks ago that he figured out how to pull himself to standing by holding onto the coffee table. Today I saw him take two or three tiny cautious steps along-side the coffee table to reach a toy that was at the end. I guess the only way to come to grips with how fast time flies with him is to savor each day and work hard at being faithful to be the kind of mom to Tyler that God wants me to be.

These days I’m always interested in the topic of parenting. My ears perk up when people talk about it and when I visit a bookstore I skim the shelves in that section. But I’m learning that one of the best books on parenting is the book of Proverbs. It addresses in a simple contrasting way wisdom and foolishness. In many ways the foolish man can be representative of children and the wise man is often referred to as the father or mother. As I’ve been reading through some of Proverbs I have started praying that this will be true of me, rather than being a foolish parent!

These few verses paint the picture of parental wisdom and that it should be cherished. I strongly desire to be the kind of mother that Tyler needs to heed. And not just because “I’m your mother, I say so” but because that my life and words may be a light to him–that’s why their words can lead, keep and speak to the son.

Ministering to high school students the last several years I notice that for many parents the main focus for the child is school. It isn’t that they don’t bring them to church or allow them to be involved in other interests, but the main priority it seems is school. I’m concerned about this because although I would want Tyler to learn and do well in school I would hope that the main priority set in our home and modeled by my husband and I would be a relationship with God and all the facets of what that looks like.

I can see a danger if Christian parents only took their children to church to model Christianity as a priority but at home quarrel, speak harshly, are demanding, disunified or selfish. What would the child really be imitating then? I want my life to model for Tyler a saving relationship with Christ, pursuit holiness and fervent service and humble consideration of others. I would think that many parents could raise a child with moral character traits, good communication skills and straight A’s through school, but miss God in all of it.

The last part of this passage, about the lamp and light made me think of Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” A Christian mother and father’s wisdom should identify with the Word of God. As a mother, I need to exemplify what I say I believe and also what I expect from Tyler.

I think we all know what a vast difference some of these verses would make if they were true of us as a way of life and our children observed and experienced them as we lived them out.

-“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.“ Proverbs 15:1

-“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16

-“‘Be angry and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Ephesians 4:26

-“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

-“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

-“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18

These are just a few of the many commands God has given to us. As we obey, the Lord will transform us from the weak, sinful bad examples, to being a model of Christ for our children and anyone else we come in contact with. It seems right now that the training we do with little Tyler is warning him of things he tries to touch or do that might be dangerous for him and dealing with tantrums or squirming when he’s getting a diaper change, but I know that as time goes on he will begin to watch, listen and mimic us. I hope and pray that he will someday be imitating Christ in me.

The last two weeks I’ve been enjoying having my good friend Missy here. I met Missy just over four years ago when Bobby and I moved to Northern California after we were married. She was a leader for a small group of high school girls and Bobby, was the new high school director. But she wasn’t able to keep helping in that ministry and it wasn’t until a couple of years later that she and I really got to know each other.

The last two years I’ve been blessed by her friendship and especially as she came back and partnered with me in serving and guiding younger girls. I remember one day helping her start a blog–Fixing My Eyes. She has written some very encouraging entries on it but hasn’t in months. Maybe you can help encourage her to keep writing! Some of my favorite times with Missy are the countless hours spent together at Starbucks talking about Scripture, family, ministry, and confessing our struggles to each other. She’s become more of a sister to me than just a friend.

In May Bobby and I accepted an exciting opportunity to move here to Orange County and minister to the high school students of Compass Bible Church. Missy was so sad when we told her we would be moving. The day we loaded the truck she came to help me pack and we talked about how much we’d miss each other. I knew that things would change, but I wasn’t sure how.

Only a couple of months after our move Missy told me that she felt God wanted her to move too. We talked about the details, prayed and waited. Two weeks ago she moved here! It is such an encouragement to me that she took that step of obedience and followed the Spirit’s prodding to move here. I know it won’t be easy as she transitions into her job, our church and makes new friends…but I am confident that the Lord will bless her if she is faithful to follow Him each day.

I mentioned before that I’m reading Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face by Martha Peace. Yesterday I finished a chapter about “idolatrous emotional attachments” one paragraph toward the end really encouraged to me–

Righteous friendships are a gift from God but so, too, is contentment–whether you have a special friend or not. The only antidote to loneliness…is delighting in the Lord and what He is doing in your life. Passionately and faithfully…worship and delight in the Lord. Then you will see how truly good He is. (p.55)

I was reminded that even the greatest friendship must not outweigh my contentment in the Lord. I know it can be easy to be too dependant on a mom/dad, husband/wife, child, boyfriend/girlfriend, or friend. Even though a relationship may be righteous and a source of spiritual encouragement and sharpening, we stand before God alone. Our utmost delight must be in Him.

I am thankful for the gift of a friendship and I am thankful that God is the cure for our loneliness. Without Him our friendships would be meaningless. He alone is our refuge and in Him we find strength and hope. He is the friend that we need.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good;
How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him”
Psalm 34:8

One night last week I was returning home while Bobby was still at Bible study. Walking from my car to our place I thought I could smell gas, or something like it, from the neighbor’s house. As I carried sleepy Tyler up the stairs to our condo I remembered something from the Sunday before last. The speaker had talked about the rapture and asked if we were ready to see God at any moment. I hadn’t thought much about it personally until I was standing outside our front door. I guess the gas smell got my imagination going because there I stood on the doorstep thinking to myself–what if that gas was from our place? If I turned the light on would it ignite our whole home?! I’m not sure if that really happens or if I’ve just seen too many movies, but I was frozen.

The reality of meeting the Lord overwhelmed me. I would never have known for sure if I was to step into the next life after stepping in that door and flipping the light switch. I don’t know how long I stood there because I was just praying the whole time, that God would help me to be ready to see Him at any moment.

I forgot about that night until today when I was driving I tuned in to the local Christian radio station and heard a pastor speaking on the end times. He seemed to be an “expert” on the happenings in Revelation and stated his points factually. I had questions about many of those points, but one thing he said that I really liked was that we do not know when Jesus will return. We need to be ready.

I remember a time when I thought that only old people wanted the rapture to happen. I’m sad to say that I thought I wanted Christ’s return to be delayed so I could get married and enjoy my life some. What an immature and unspiritual perspective I had! The Lord has changed my perspective though, as I have seen more of my sin, I long more for the light of His presence to clean that darkness out. I can’t think of anything more exciting than Jesus return.

I’m afraid that many people have that perspective that I had, especially younger people. We think that we want to experience life. I asked a group of high school girls about this once and they all were quick to say things that they really want to do or accomplish before Christ’s coming–getting married, having a family, finishing college, traveling in Europe, having their first kiss. These were real hopes for them. They were much more excited about college than the idea that God might come to earth!

“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, ‘Be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:13-16

In these verses Peter calls us to live in a way that eagerly anticipates the future of our salvation. I thought of this verse that night on our doorstep and looked it up later that night. I started asking myself, “What would it look like to be ready to see God.” Yes, we will always have sin in this life, but how could I be living now that would show that I am eagerly anticipating Christ’s return? This passage shows three big exhortations that would characterize someone who is ready to see God.

Sober. “Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober…”

Christians need to be steady, self-controlled, and alert. The note in my MacArthur study Bible says, “The sober Christian is correctly in charge of his priorities and not intoxicated with the various allurements of the world.” It’s so easy to become distracted and even swept away by the cares or enticements of the world. Somehow what is spiritual can take second place to family, work, school, and friends. Someone who is sober takes spiritual things very seriously as being of utmost importance in the scheme of the other things in their life. Not easily distracted, standing firm, resisting temptation, prayerful and sensitive to the Spirit.

Hopeful. “…Rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

A Christian has no need to fear the future. Salvation meets its glorious end in death because that is when we become fully like Christ, without sin and in His presence. When Christ is revealed His grace will bring us to completion. We should long for this moment! What could we possible accomplish on this earth and in this life that could match such a fulfillment? A Christian who is eagerly awaiting Christ’s return is hopeful and watchful, with full confidence in God’s Word and promises. He trusts that all circumstances, especially trials, are leading him to the fulfillment of that hope.

Obedient. “…as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts.”

Holiness is to be perfect, clean from the stain of sin. Obedience leads to holiness. Peter cautions us not to conform to the former lusts. When we became Christians God gave us a new nature (2 Corinthians 5:17) and good works to do (Ephesians 2:10). As we follow these He works a transformation in us, making us holy as He is holy. We can not be transformed if we are not obedient to Him.

That night I thought about this passage and was convicted that I must pursue growth in these areas. One overall area that I weighed heavy on my heart was that of holiness. When I think about being ready to meet God I know that I need to be holy. Just the thought of seeing God–my Creator and Sustainer, in all of His glory and holiness–makes me feel weak and shriveled inside. I feel like Isaiah did when he said “Woe is me!”(Isaiah 6:5) He was overwhelmed because He saw God and knew that he was unclean. God cannot tolerate any sin, any uncleanness. But much of the time I can tolerate it in my own life. I know that I’ve been impatient and quick with my words, judgmental in my thoughts or angry in my heart, but I think, “Well, I’m working on it…I have time.” But that whole mindset is wrong! When I live like that I’m living with a worldly perspective.

MacArthur says of this verse, “Living in the reality of Christ’s return makes a difference in the Christian’s behavior.” Christ will return. It could be tomorrow, ten years from now, or in my grandchildren’s lifetimes. We don’t know. But just because we don’t know doesn’t mean we can slack off and procrastinate on holiness. Whether He returns first or we die–we will meet God either way. I don’t know about you, but there are areas in my life that I know of without thinking too hard that need to be purified. I am gripped with this knowledge of God’s holiness. You and I need to take seriously and soberly this reality–His holiness and His return. We need to purify ourselves from our sinful ways of thinking, ungodly words, laziness, selfishness–the list could go on and on! If we say that He is our hope it will make a difference in our behavior. I don’t know about you, but I want to be ready to see God at any moment!