Blakeyblog

Before Tyler was born I started a subscription to a website for mothers that provided helpful weekly e-mails during the length of the pregnancy and also the first year. The e-mail I just received for this week featured an article–”How should I discipline my baby?”

Featured in the “Ask the Experts” section, a doctor answered a mother’s question about her mischievous 8 month old. The doctor says,

Your job right now is to keep your baby safe, secure, and stimulated. A crawling baby may be old enough to make mischief, but he’s not old enough to learn the difference between right and wrong. Real discipline — the kind that teaches lessons and changes behaviors — will have to wait. Even though your baby can’t grasp discipline, this is a great time to start practicing techniques that will work in the months and years to come. When she pulls on a lamp cord or sucks on a stereo knob, firmly tell her “no” and quickly redirect her to a safer activity. With her short attention span, she’ll quickly forget about causing trouble.

I agree with the “experts” that I need to keep Tyler safe, secure and stimulated and I work to make sure those things are happening daily. I don’t agree with their deduction that babies are not old enough to learn the difference between right and wrong. I had a conversation with my pastor and his wife about discipline and they advised us, “If you wait until day two to train and discipline your child, you’ve waited too long.”

I really do believe that parents set the tone for the child and that a child can be lovingly trained to learn whatever the parents are consistent to teach him. Training needs to be something that parents set the tone for on day one. Of course this doesn’t mean making rules or disciplining a newborn, but praying for and developing good habits are probably a way we start training them at that stage.

I am concerned about the “expert” answer because it seems that our society is always passing off the responsibility for behavior. I’m hearing it a lot about babies, that they can’t understand and that disciplining is not appropriate until they are a year and a half old. When these babies grow up to junior high we say they are just in the “rebellious stage.” When they get into high school society says, “We can’t expect them to know better.” When these kids are adults are they taking responsibility for their behavior? No, they are blaming it on their parents and upbringing. It seems to me that teaching a baby to learn right form wrong can not start too early. Isn’t that the purpose of heeding Proverbs 22:6?

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

When Tyler learned to crawl I was faced with this new aspect of training him. I haven’t really “baby-proofed” the whole house. I picked up things that were a hazard to his safety, but everything else, we thought it would be best for him to learn not to get into. I try not to just say “No” but be more specific– “No fussing” “No touch.” In the living room there are two or three things that Tyler is not supposed to touch.

One day several weeks ago, I was watching Tyler crawl to one of these places. He sat there looking around and I went over to him and said, “No touch” and put him back with his toys. But a couple of minutes later he had crawled back over to it and was looking over his little shoulder to see if I was watching him. I could tell that Tyler knew he wasn’t supposed to touch it because when I’m sitting right there he’ll take one look at me watching him and just crawl away, but when he didn’t think I was watching he thought he could get away with it.

I’m not claiming to be an “expert.” I know I’m at the beginning of this journey of training and disciplining. I feel sad that moms left comments to this website article telling the “experts” that they hadn’t disciplined their children and now their 2 year old is out of control. I agree that parents should never be harsh or short tempered but loving and consistent in their training.

I am reminded of something else our pastor and his wife told us–”If parents don’t discipline their children, God will.” This wasn’t meant to scare us but help us have a sober perspective about the urgent necessity of training and disciplining Tyler according to the Word of God. We can be confident that He is the expert on how we need to parent our kids. I am prayerful that God will use me as an instrument to train Tyler in the way he should go even if it’s contrary to society.

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