Blakeyblog

Tyler is teething. I had heard many other mom’s experiences with teething babies–that some babies don’t mind it at all and one day a tooth pops out while others cry and agonize over it for days before it breaks out. Tyler is the latter. He has his usual great days, followed by one really bad day of crying and gumming on his fingers. Poor little guy. Last Saturday was like this and today has been like this. He just wants to be held and comforted. I’m happy to oblige but after whole days of this I start to feel down because on these days I don’t get much done and don’t feel very productive. Then today during Tyler’s morning nap I read Philippians 4 and verse 4 nailed me.

“Rejoice in the Lord always.
Again I will say, rejoice.”

Paul doesn’t give any qualifications for rejoicing. He doesn’t imply that I only have to do so when my house is clean, my husband is having a good day and my child is an angel. There are no conditions because my rejoicing isn’t in any of the things going on around me it’s in the Lord. At women’s Bible study yesterday we talked about James 1:17 where James writes that God never changes. With Him there is “no variation or shadow of turning.” That is why rejoicing in Him always makes sense. He is not like our fluctuating circumstances or people. Because God never changes I can always have joy no matter what is going on around me.

I think the Lord is trying to make a point because later today I pulled out a little daily devotional book by John MacArthur called Truth For Today and the verse for today was Philippians 4:4. I was speechless! MacArthur writes–

We can’t always rejoice in our circumstances or other people because both can be bad. However, we can rejoice in the Lord because He is always good and we know He never changes. Thus, our spiritual stability directly relates to our knowledge of God. That’s why the Psalms were written in poetic form and meter and set to music–so the people of Israel could memorize Scripture and sing hymns to deepen their knowledge of God. Knowing Him helps us live above our circumstances and provides stability….Knowing Him makes everything else seem less significant.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.”

Psalm 28:7

Last week I finished reading Martha Peace’s new book Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face. Most people are familiar with Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife and this book is just as poignant and biblically sound. Peace writes with spiritual depth and encouraging clarity as she addresses problems that women have with others, self and the world.In eleven chapters Martha covers gossip and slander, idolatrous emotional attachments, manipulation, hurt feelings, vanity, PMS, legalism, the feminist influence, the role of women in the church and trials. Seeing that list, I knew this book would be convicting! And it is, but she does not condemn and leave us feeling guilty. Martha’s heart for helping women comes across very genuinely in her writing and her purpose it truly to exhort her readers to help them change.

In the first chapter Martha writes–

There is nothing, however painful, that we must go through in vain. God will not only help us, but He will also use all things for our good and for His glory. What a comforting thought when we are in a trial or undergoing terrific pressure or temptation!

She urges the reader to keep this perspective in all our struggles. This encouragement is especially timely as she continues to write very black and white about our struggles and how no excuses will do. If we have a 1 Peter approach to our weaknesses The Lord can accomplish His change in us.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you at the proper time,
casting all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:6-7

There were a couple of sections that I thought about quite a bit. The first was from chapter 4–Manipulation: I’m supposed to respond how? Martha writes–

Sinful manipulation is using unbiblical words and/or your countenance to bully another person into letting you have your way. All the while you know that if you cannot have your way, you can at least punish the other person in the process.

You know you are guilty of sinful manipulation when you don’t graciously take “no” for an answer and keep trying to convince the other person to let you have your way. Certainly there may be times when an appeal is appropriate, but if the answer is sill “no,” then you must see it as God’s will for you at the moment.

She breaks manipulation down into a chart of tactics that women try with their husbands, parents, friends and children. She sees that most verbal manipulation falls into one of these categories: sweet talk, begging, crying, anger, the cold shoulder, accusations, and threats. She calls us to put off manipulations and let all we say and do be done in love.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind regard one another
as more important than yourselves.”
Philippians 2:3

The second one is from chapter 5, Hurt Feelings: What difference does it make what he intended? Martha tries to be clear on the differences between intentional and unintentional hurts. I am amazed at the authoritative clarity with which she describes these two problems.

She writes about intentional hurts–

Intentional hurts are sinful. They may be in the form of slander, name-calling, malicious comments and acts, or cruel threats. Whatever the form, you can overcome them only be responding righteously, not by adding additional wickedness.

I was a little surprised at the bluntness of what she says about unintentional hurts–

Unintentional hurts are sinful on the part of the person perceiving something as hurtful. Often the person perceiving something as hurtful is overly sensitive, shy, proud, and self-absorbed. Whatever form their sin tends to take, they are to have a righteous, humble response to others.

Instead of being offended and hurt, we must learn to give others the benefit of the doubt…We must be willing to feel uncomfortable in order to help others feel comfortable. It is never pleasant to feel uncomfortable, but it is a mark of maturity when your concern is greater for another person’s feelings than your own.

This is just a sample of this book, and I hope that you will take time to read the rest for yourself. Martha Peace cuts through the self-esteem, entitlement, feministic message that many authors use in an attempt to help women in their problems and she speaks authoritatively from God’s Word helping women see how He cares for us deeply and tenderly–even when we think others don’t understand our struggles–and also that He is holy and requires our obedience in all areas of life. Only in Him can we be free from sin and victorious over these problems.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being a mom because I really enjoy being Tyler’s mom. Every day is sweet and joyful. People always tell me that Tyler is just an “easy baby” and I guess he is. The last few days from when he wakes up till when he goes to sleep he has been so happy and playful. This has been the norm for us since Tyler was born. Of course he’s not a perfect baby. He’s had lots of fussy times. And we just went through some long nights teething. Every now and then we have “one of those days.” I work to keep on him with discipline and keeping things in order. But I don’t like being a mom in spite of that, I enjoy all of those things as a part of this role as a mom.

Tyler loves to play peek-a-boo. He’ll hide under a blanket and when I pull it off he squeals. Or he and I will hide behind a door and Bobby will come in and surprise him, he loves that too. It’s so exciting for Bobby and me to see him growing like this. Like how he likes to play little games like that and many other things like walking along furniture or becoming more outgoing with people.

Tyler went through a phase for a couple of months of not wanting to be left in the nursery or with anyone. He didn’t even let very many people hold him. But now he has gotten so friendly. Lately he reaches out to people that he recognizes or can tell we know because he wants them to hold him. People seem to really like that! He also talks more to people. At the grocery store last week the checker said, “Hey, little guy” to Tyler and Tyler looked up and–much to my surprise–said “Hey!” Over the weekend he learned how to shout and does so now when he’s playing or especially when we’re driving in the car. That’s what he’s doing in this picture from “Fall Fest” last night.

I know all our days won’t be easy and playful. As Tyler gets older I will face new challenges and hardships as a mom. But I hope I’ll always look for the joy in it and be happy that God has given me this opportunity!

“Behold children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.”
Psalm 127:3