“Like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” 1 Peter 3:6

God is the determiner of what is right. He has clearly revealed right and wrong throughout His Word. So, why might you or any Christian wife be afraid to do the right thing? Perhaps you are afraid that you will be hurt, disappointed, embarrassed, or “taken advantage of.” Perhaps you may be unsure of what is right. However, the most likely reason that you may be afraid to do what God wants is that you are afraid you won’t have your own way…

Fear can cripple us. If we let it, fear can debilitate us from effectively ministering to others for the Lord. Each of us probably have a list of reasons why fear prevents us from doing the right thing. It can even feel as though the fear is controlling us. And yet, in chapter two of Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife, she states simply–”The Christian wife does not have to be afraid.” The phrase, “does not have to” was a reminder to me that I choose my response in the situations I face in life. I don’t get to choose the circumstances but what I think and how act is up to me. Fear is voluntary and too often I am giving in to it.
Sarah wasn’t frightened by any fear because she trusted in God. The opposite of fear is trust. Look at this list of verses that show the benefit of choosing to trust, rather than give in to fear.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. Psalm 125:1

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the man who trust in him. Psalm 32:10

God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song. Isaiah 12:2

Maybe your husband isn’t living out these Scriptures, maybe he isn’t even a Christian. However, that is not the main thing…the main thing is that each Christian wife can choose to lay aside her fears and put all her trust in God. Don’t bank your trust in man, circumstances, plans, money or anything else. The only person worth trusting in is the Lord. We need to trust in Him because as Peace says God alone is the “determiner of what is right.” We should be much more concerned about the ramifications for not obeying the Lord and depending on our own understanding than having things our own way. Fear is not valid because when you trust in the Lord, there is nothing to fear!

Tyler is just over a year now and I just don’t see how life with him could get any better, but somehow it does! Over the weekend, Tyler started letting go and taking two or three steps toward one of us to catch him, so that has been fun!

These days his big thing is communicating. He does some signs to us and says many words now. I think the sign I see most is “eat”–he must be going through a growth spurt because he’s always hungry! The words he says most are, of course, “da-da” and “daddy”. It’s so funny because he says “hi” and “bye-bye” to everyone he sees. He also recently started saying “Ty” (my husband’s best friend’s name who we named Tyler after) and we’ve been in the store and a dark-haired guy will walk by and Tyler will yell, “Ty!” It is so fun to watch him grow and learn so many new things, life is just so great with this little guy!

I’m not at all trying to paint an unrealistic picture to my friends who read this and don’t have children yet. But I wish somehow I could give a better perspective about the joy of being a parent more than just saying, “The headache is all worth it in the end.” He is such a gift and every day is so sweet with him because if he’s happy I really enjoy that, if he’s sad I can comfort him, if he’s sick I get to take care of him, if he’s fussy I get to train him to have a better attitude…I’m so thankful that the Lord is letting us have this gift each day!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

The works that God has prepared for you to do include not only what you do in your relationship with your husband, but also your heart’s motive or attitude.  It will help you to have the right attitude if you focus on what you are supposed to be doing, not on what your husband is supposed to be doing.  Certainly, it is easy to get caught up in seeing whether other people (especially your husband) are doing their jobs right.  However, the issue for the Christian wife is “Am I doing the good works that God intended for me?” 

Sometimes being a wife can seem like a vague role leaving us a little confused about what we should be, merely trying to do our best.  I was so encouraged by this quote because Martha Peace shows us that God has a specific purpose for us as wives and specific works for us to do.  That is exciting!

The main thing that stood out to me from this excerpt is that I need to take responsibility for my obedience to the Lord.  There is a huge temptation to look at others–spouse, children, parents, siblings, and friends–and be their personal obedience police.  It is not up to us to make sure that they are doing what God calls them to do.  There is definitely a place for accountability and coming alongside others to help them walk in obedience to the Lord, but I need to make sure that my heart is in the right place walking in the works that God has prepared for me to do.

What are some of those good works?  Proverbs 31 describes these twenty traits of the excellent wife, that show us some of the good works that she does–

Good to her husband
Of exceptional worth
Respectful to her husband
Trusted
Kind
Fears the Lord
Blessed by her children
Careful
Praised
Not afraid
Worker with hands
Wise
Generous
Good to her husband

This is just a brief look at some of the good works that God wants us to walk in.  I defeinitely want to be growing into the wife that God wants me to be and this book has been instrumental in helping to spark action in that pursuit.  I hope this quote from The Excellent Wife has been a motivation to you today too!

We’re still house sitting for our friend’s until further notice. They are overseas and their flight for Saturday was cancelled due to extreme whether conditions, so it has been three days since they were supposed to fly home but all we can do is pray and wait.

We’ve been having a great time staying here though. They have a big house with lots of room for Tyler to explore. We’ve enjoyed their hot tub and cable tv (Does anyone else like the Food Network?) It’s a little bit farther of a drive from where we live, but it hasn’t been a problem.

This weekend Bobby taught Psalm 73 where Asaph gets distracted by the prosperity of the wicked. He is tempted to think that life is better in the world but eventually is reminded that God all he needs. I love verses 25 and 26 of this psalm–

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

This Psalm embodied what is possibly the biggest distraction for our students–seeing the prosperity of the world. Their non-Christian friends can do whatever they want. Most of them aren’t trying to live by any moral standard let alone God’s standard. They dress how they want, treat their parents how they feel, date whoever they like…a life without boundaries or so it seems.

Psalm 73 reminds us that even though it seems like the “wicked” have it all, they will be judged by God for not following Him. This is a challenge because the life without boundaries seems so easy compared to a young person really trying to live for the Lord, untainted by the world. I sat there listening to Bobby teach and had to ask myself if I could say with Asaph, “…earth has nothing I desire besides you.” That is the kind of devotion that God wants and requires from us. Our whole heart, not just part of it.

I don’t know what the deal is with my blogging habits these last two weeks.  I think I’ve just been lazy.  All week we’ve been staying at our friend’s house with their daughter while they are out of town, so not having my computer is part of why I haven’t blogged, but I could have just used the one I’m writing on now…anyway, no more excuses. 

Yesterday Tyler was not feeling well.  He wasn’t hungry and had a fever.  I think he’s just cutting in his top teeth, but it’s so sad to hear him crying and he doesn’t want to do anything, just have me hold him and walk around the house.  He’s much better this morning though.  There are stairs at this house so we’ve been teaching Tyler that he can’t just jump down them–I don’t know why he thinks he can do that and still be okay at the end–but that he has to turn around and go feet first backwards down one step at a time.  I think he’s getting the hang of it.

The Lord has been showing me some tough things to face in my heart and life this week.  I’m usually a pretty calm person, but I’ve really been noticing that when my circumstances and externals don’t go right, I don’t respond right.  How calm and peaceful I am has been largely hinged on my circumstances.  If everything is orderly and going according to plan I’m great, if not, I’m all upset.  Because of pride I find this a hard thing to face in myself and admit to.

Being here at our friends house involves some of these externals that aren’t the normal way I have things and I became very discouraged to see the nastiness of my own self-seeking sin fleshing out as I want to control my environment and make everything be how I want it to be.  The other night I had to take some time to sit down with the Lord about this.  I felt broken about this horrible attitude becasue I do not want to continue this way.  I flipped through my Bible and read a few verses about peace–

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

The kind of peace that God gives is not hinged on anything but Him.  It is regardless of how I feel, and the circumstances, trials or difficulty I face.  Things around me are always changing.  I am always changing, but God is constant.  He needs to be the anchor holding me down at all times.

I know that isn’t how I’ve been living.  This is an area in my life where what I know and what I do are not always the same thing.  I needed that time to face it and just pray, “Okay, Lord, I will change.”  I don’t want to live foolishly, trying to control things when I need to rest in God who really does control all things. That is what I am now working toward–praying for and practicing His promise of peace.