Yesterday I finished reading John MacArthur’s The Fulfilled Family a helpful little book (only 126 pages) on the roles inside the family. Even though this book is brief and more of an overview, MacArthur brought the same Biblical clarity that he always does in helping us understand and follow God’s divine plan for family life.

In five chapters MacArthur addresses, from Ephesians 5–family, wife, husband, children and parents. The common thread in the each chapter is mutual submission from Ephesians 5:21,

“…submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

In order to have a family that pleases God we need to be surrendered to Him through salvation and committed to living out in obedience what He says in His Word.

This book is deep, convicting and practical and would be great for a husband and wife to read together or as a family. It is so short that you could do so in one sitting or for sure a couple of days. I was encouraged by the reminder of what my role is in our family–as a wife and mother–and I was thankful for what I learned from all the chapters, here are some highlights:

“The Wife’s Role: Submission, Not Slavery”

Peter said, women fist of all need to cultivate inner beauty. They should be primarily concerned with “the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4). It’s hard to imagine anything Peter might have said that would be more out of step with twenty-first-century notions of political correctness! He was saying that women ought to be gentle and quiet and submissive, not loud boisterous and pushy. They ought to be concerned with their own character, and not with the world’s fashion. (p. 37)

“The Husband’s Duty: Love”

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) Biblical love is a willful commitment to self-sacrifice, and it is not at all based on how we might “feel” at any point about the object of our love…What we choose to love invariably becomes extremely attractive to us. A heart determined to love sees only beauty. So authentic love naturally results in the passions of desire and attraction we often associate with love. (p.62-63)

“The Children’s Duty: Obedience”

It’s notable that the fifth commandment itself doesn’t use the word obey. “Honor” is a broader concept that certainly includes the idea of obedience–but at the same time it condemns attitudes of resentment, anger, reluctance, or other forms of defiance that mechanical external obedience often masks. Obedience without honor is hypocrisy. Scripture is calling for obedience from the heart. (p.97)

“The Parent’s Duty: Nurture and Admonition”

Children have a heart problem. They are constitutionally sinful, like their parents. What they need most are regenerate hearts. This is the most fundamental issue in parenting. It’s not ultimately about behavior; it’s about the child’s heart…it’s not enough to correct wrong behavior and teach good manners. Proper parenting is not about behavioral control, or even merely teaching kids to be obedient. To bring up our children in “the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4) is to direct them to Christ. Parents cannot guarantee their kids’ salvation..but parents must be evangelists to point the way to Christ. (p. 114-116)