Excellent Wife Wisdom–Stop living for self!
I’ve been reading through Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife and chapter four is called “A Wife’s Understanding of Relationships.” Peace has a pretty candid approach in her teaching, but for some reason this was a pretty jarring reminder–
God wants us to stop living for ourselves, to stop destroying relationships, and to start living for Him. Paul wrote to the church at Corinth saying,
“…that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who dies and rose again on their behalf” II Corinthians 5:15.
It is easy to live for yourself, but ultimately unfulfilling and empty…you must become like and act like Jesus. To accomplish this goal, your motivation must change from “What can I get out of this?” to “What can I give?” (I Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:2-3). Hence you should expect no thanks or recognition. You are just doing your minimal duty to God.
(The Excellent Wife, 31)
I was really struck by the fact that giving of myself is not doing more or better. It is simply obeying what God has told me to do. Later in the chapter Peace talked about how in relationships we tend to want to be in control, hide or cover up hurt or pain, we protect ourselves and tend to be self-focused. Maybe when we aren’t acting out these selfish attributes, then we think we are doing a great service but really we are just doing a basic thing God has commanded–to live for Him and not self. Peace closed this chapter with a well-worded admonishment for wives to stop living for themselves:
Your words are to be edifying.
Your tasks sacrificial.
Your motive for the glory of God.
(The Excellent Wife, 32)
May 3rd, 2007
One thing I like about Martha Peace is that she doesn’t sugar coat anything. She doesn’t dance around, but comes right out and tells it like it is. I learned so much from her book, especially Chapter Six I think it was. I got up to look, got sidetracked, and don’t remember the exact chapter. It was titled A Wife’s Understanding of her Role.
Also, if you want to participate, I tagged you for a Short Book Meme if you are interested.
May 4th, 2007
In our gimme gimme gimme world, it’s so foreign to focus on giving. Yet that is what God calls us to do. I appreicated your comment, “giving of myself is not doing more or better, it is simply obeying what God has told me to do”. It is so easy to pat ourselves on the back when we do something sacrificially for others, but that should be the pattern of life for the believer. Thanks for the reminder!
May 4th, 2007
Thanks, Diane! I saw that you tagged me! I’ll try to get my answers up soon:).
I agree with you about Martha Peace…she doesn’t beat around the bush, but just comes out and says it how it is. That can actually be pretty refreshing!
May 5th, 2007
I look forward to reading them Christa!