august07-114-1.jpgIt’s hard to believe that it is already the last week of August and that all the stores already have clearance shelves for their back-to-school goods and are setting out the Halloween candy. To celebrate the end of summer, we’ve been on a somewhat spontaneous vacation. We had received a free night to the Embassy Suites, so we enjoyed it in San Diego for the last three days. Tyler was crazy about giant koi down in the lobby, I’m pretty sure he would have jumped in for a swim with them if he could have! They had a little dispenser where for 25 cents you would get a handful of fish food and after we let him do it he would wake up saying, “Mommy, throw food to fish? Ding?(that’s the sound of the elevator) Please?!” We relaxed at the beach, spent a day at Sea World and ordered take-out from my favorite restaurant one night. It was a really nice vacation.august07-133-1.jpg

This is the first so-titled “vacation” we’ve taken with Tyler. It’s interesting how the whole idea of a “vacation” changes when you have a child. Before Tyler I would have defined “vacation” as lot’s of “me” time–sleeping in, getting some kind of pampering (massage or pedicure), peaceful, no interruptions, anything we want to do we do, don’t want we don’t. Now, I haven’t had any of these expectations for awhile now. But it’s actually pretty sad that it takes having a child to realize that it’s not all about me.

Being a mom doesn’t give me some secret enlightenment on life, just an opportunity to recognize how self absorbed I can be. Often I hear moms talking about giving up sleep and hobbies for their kids. It sometimes seems that we like to make personal sacrifice count as a kind of religion in God’s eyes. It doesn’t. In reality we could be pulling all-nighters with sick babies, losing ourselves in caring for our families and still not have a heart that pleases God. It’s being a follower of Christ, not just a mom, that changes the how, why, and what of our lives. There is a beautiful quote by Elisabeth Elliot that has been a huge inspiration to me–

We are called to be women. The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God’s idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be.

august07-117-1.jpgOn this vacation the Lord used some simple things to show my selfishness to me. And at one point I felt such a heaviness because I kept insisting on my way, but He kept showing me that it did not please Him. I guess I had an epiphany when I considered that being a wife and mom is a role, not a job.

A job you need a vacation from. God gave us this pattern of rest when, in Creation, He worked for six days and on “the seventh day He rested” (Genesis 2:2). But a role is a relationship, not a “job.” How would we feel if our husbands said, “Sweetie, I need a vacation from being your husband, I’ll be back next week.” This is not God’s design! It’s fine to get away as a couple and have a day you get time to do things without your children, but even though relationships take work, and some more ongoing physical labor than others (i.e.:with a baby), we shouldn’t make so much of this sacrifice.

As moms we do daily exert a lot of physical energy, but this never justifies selfishness or demanding things we think we are then entitled to. Being women doesn’t put us in a special class who is allowed to be selfish at times because we do a certain kind of work. But being a Christian makes me a radically different woman. Being a Christian wife and mother means that I follow my Lord’s example. What did He do? He was God and yet…

“(He) made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:7-8

Wow. As a frail, sinful human, I can act like I’m so entitled. I have a hard time humbling myself to the point of wholeheartedly embracing basic things God has commanded like His design for my role as a wife and mother. How would I ever be emptied to the point of death for the Lord?

If God, who alone is worthy, emptied Himself to the point of death for me, I should certainly be able to care for my family without even thinking twice about what I have to give up. It takes work to make sure my heart and attitudes are in the right place–doing nothing out of selfishness but in humility considering others as better than myself (Philippians 2:3-4). We shouldn’t even consider any personal “sacrifice” but give our whole lives as an offering back to Him. Anybody with me?