“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”…This is because the wife and mother in a family often “sets the tone” in the home. The “tone” God wants her to set is one of joy, optimism, and a delight in the Lord an in her family.

The Excellent Wife, p.77

Last week I started chapter 8 in Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife, but since it was divided as part one and part two I only read one, which I blogged about [1] last week. Part two really follows up well so I hope this will be an encouragement and motivation to you today!

This chapter is called “Home: The Wife’s Domain” and part one talked about the need for us to work heartily in order for our home to have a godly atmosphere. She focused on the need to be applying our energies, not just sitting around and then in part two she finishes her thought on what that atmosphere is we are working to develop and how we can nurture it.

The wife and mother who views life as a “cross to bear” influences the others in the home to think the same. She easily robs everyone else of joy…her ungodly attitudes spread to everyone else. If your family were called upon to describe you, what would they say? Would they report that you are a godly, Christian woman who loves like and loves the Lord? Or would they report that you are an unhappy, complaining bitter woman?

The Excellent Wife, p.77

Being hard working and having the joy of the Lord are predominant attitudes that we should have in setting the tone for our home. But how can we cultivate an attitude of joy when we are chauffeuring kids around all day or cleaning oatmeal out of the carpet, dealing with diaper rashes, running errands or working a 9-5 job and coming home exhausted?

Cultivating a joyful attitude is not a mind game where we pretend life isn’t hard work. For the Christian woman, joy comes not from circumstances but from delighting in the Lord. We can do this by meditating on Scripture, by reading it repeatedly throughout the day, and by committing it to memory. For some this can be as simple as playing a book of the Bible on CD or downloading a sermon to listen to while you fold laundry instead of watching TV. Listening to and singing worship songs while you go about daily activities.

One of the best ways I have found to delight in the Lord in my own heart is to have specific verses around my home. I used to do this in college and just used dry erase markers on my mirrors or post-it notes. Now I print them on colorful card stock and put them at my desk, in the kitchen, in the bathroom and in my car. I try to change them often so I don’t eventually stop looking at them. This is a good way to memorize and remind yourself of who God is and why you should be thankful to Him today. Psalm 118:24 is one that I have memorized so that before my feet touch the ground I can commit that in my heart to the Lord.

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Developing this joyful atmosphere in our home must start with us having joy in the Lord. But I like how this verse says “let us” because that helps me think past my own personal rejoicing to– how can I motivate those in my home to be rejoicing today too? Here are some suggestions (some are from The Excellent Wife, p.78, some are my own):

• Don’t worry or fret (Matthew 6:25-34). If you are prone to anxiety or pessimistic about problems that really taints a joyful attitude. You can show that circumstances and moods don’t determine your joy by not getting caught up in worry or negativity. When people see that you are entrusting each day and the outcome of situations to the Lord, that can be a powerful example and really create an atmosphere that is calm and comforting.

• Cheerfully put your husband, family and friends first even if you are busy, tired or it is your time of the month. When they see that you are consistent and selfless in your care for them this creates a very soothing and reassuring atmosphere in the home. (Philippians 2:3-4) Some ways you can do this is by having a weekly date night with your husband, making it a point to call or e-mail friends each week to ask how you can be praying for them, asking you family how they are today and looking for a specific thing you could do to encourage them or help make their day easier.

• Express intentional interest in your family. Take advantage of times to tell your husband something you appreciate about him. Take little moments to hug your children and remind them that they are a joy to you.

• Pray specifically for each family member each day. One friend of mine writes her family members names on a dry erase board over her desk and every day writes new specific things she is praying for them each day. I like this idea because as she goes about her day it is easier to remember because it is right there on the wall.

• Be patient, kind and quick to forgive. You can have a quiet confidence that God will “work all things for good to those who love God…“ (Romans 8:28) Your confidence and faith will grow daily as you meditate on and study God’s Word so you will continually “growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18).

When we set a tone in our home of joy in the Lord, our family will look forward to coming home and our friends will find comfort when they are over. We will be approachable and our family will enjoy being around us because we are positive, gentle and nurturing not harsh, fearful or full of self-pity. We can really make our home a wonderful place if we work heartily as unto the Lord and daily find our delight in Him!