One Sunday morning several years ago my husband walked out of the bathroom ready to go to church. Right away I noticed that his tie and shirt did not match. So I said sarcastically, “You’re not going to wear that tie are you?” What followed was a difficult moment because obviously he was going to wear it. Finally he replied in a slightly irritated tone, “Yes, what’s wrong with it?” So I proceeded to tell him.

Later as I thought about this incident, I realized that my question must have made him feel foolish. If he had answered, “No, I’m not going to wear it,” he would have been lying because he already had it on. If he had answered, “Yes I am going to wear it,” it was apparent that I thought he looked ridiculous. There was no gracious was for him to change his tie without feeling foolish. As I thought about how I made him feel, I also thought about the Scripture that admonishes a wife to “see to it that she respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

I know that as his “helper suitable” (Genesis 2:20) that he needed my help, not my sarcastic “put down.” My first responsibility before God in this situation was to be respectful and my second was to make helpful suggestions.

The Excellent Wife, p. 107

Most women probably see Martha Peace’s scenario as inconsequential. Her husband was wearing a bad tie and she gave him a hard time for it…what’s the big deal? But amidst he story, Peace quotes God’s command to us in Ephesians 5:33–a wife must respect her husband–this instruction puts the whole story into perspective. You and I are to respect our husbands. This is a command. It isn’t conditional or up for debate. We must obey it.

As I read chapter ten from Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife I was struck with conviction about how I do not respect my husband. Something I do that I had not really considered to be disrespect came to light. I tend to be sarcastic with my husband making comments very similar to Peace’s story above. Seeing that has helped me to watch what I say before I speak to my husband and also to look for ways to show my respect for him and discipline myself to slow down and remember that God commands me to do this.

re·spect

high or special regard, esteem, honor, deference

Several friends have expressed to me a great struggle with this command. They don’t feel that their husband deserves or has earned their respect so they only give it to him conditionally. But God doesn’t tell us to respect our husbands based on what he is doing right, how he treats us, or if we deem them worthy. We are to respect him because God tells us to and because of his position.

“Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of woman,
and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

God has instituted positions of authority in our homes, churches and government. Each of these positions are to be respected simply for the fact that God has appointed each person to be that authority and commands us to respect them. Your husband might be making terrible decisions, not be the leader you want him to be and may not even be a Christian. But if you are a Christian wife you are called to respect him. “You may be smarter, wiser, or more gifted than your husband, but you are still to respect the position that God has given him.” (The Excellent Wife, 109)

Our heart attitude, actions and words are to be conducted with respect. When you disagree or confront your husband, do it with respect. When you pick up after him in your home, don’t grumble in your heart, do it with respect. If he asks you to do something don’t sigh and roll your eyes, respond with respect. This isn’t something that comes naturally to us. We must work at it and it will take time and prayer to make progress. I hope you are willing to evaluate your respect for your husband and commit to being obedient to God’s command doing whatever that means you need to change.

Two weeks ago, after we were in Texas visiting my in-laws, we flew to Florida for a Tuesday through last Friday vacation to Disney World. We had been given free flights there and free hopper passes to the theme parks and we had such a fun time together!

Last Sunday was Tyler birthday. We had a wonderful little party to celebrate his two years. Everyone was so thoughtful in giving gifts to Tyler–all kinds of Finding Nemo goodies, puzzles, books, a little backpack and a bunch of clothes. Instead of a cake I made jumbo cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles. Tyler was hilarious. He just ate all of the frosting off and then said, “All done!”

To see a small album of pictures from our trip and Tyler’s birthday, please click HERE!

We also just had an exciting weekend at Compass Bible Church. We had a ministry fair that encouraged people from our congregation to serve. We also had a parents meeting for our high school ministry. Bobby and I really want to partner with them in discipling the students.

All of these things have caused me to consider God’s goodness. He has blessed me with a wonderful family, both here at home and at church. A couple of weeks ago Pastor Mike preached from Psalm 100 which talks about God’s goodness and how we need to respond by celebrating Him.

1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Bobby, Tyler and I are in Texas this weekend. Yesterday we (and Bobby’s brothers) flew out to surprise His parents for a special “installation” service their church had for his dad. Tyler was amazing on the airplane! I wasn’t sure how he would do with the almost 4 hours it is to fly here, so I packed my bag full of goodies for him. We doodled and had snacks and watched Monster’s Inc. I was dreading flying here because I thought it would be a meltdown marathon, but it turned out to be a fun time!

Last night we had the opportunity to hear John MacArthur preach for the “installation” service for Bobby’s parents. He asked, “What is the fundamental truth of Christianity?” The answer–Jesus is Lord. He showed us how if Jesus is Lord, then Christians are His slaves. But the Christian community doesn’t like this image. We would rather call ourselves “servants.” But a servant is one who is hired to work for wages. After working he goes his own way and does what he wants. A slave on the other hand is bought, no longer owns his own life and does only his master’s will.

The Christian community by and large does not like this image. Even the Bible translators will not render the Greek word “doulos” correctly. The only way this word can be translated is “slave” but because of the stigma about this word translators render is “servant” or “bond-servant.” They only render it “slave” if it is talking about an actual slave or an inanimate object. MacArthur showed that our loss of this word has contributed to wrong thinking around the world and throughout history.

Instead of calling people to hand themselves over to Christ as Lord, the popular evangelistic message is about how beneficial it would be for you to start a personal relationship with Jesus. Jesus as Lord means that He is absolute authority and what He says goes. We need to readjust our thinking if it hasn’t been right on this. Jesus is Lord. I am a Christian and that means I am His slave. He bought me and owns me. I can no longer have a personal agenda like I did when I was a slave to sin. My will must be completely subject to His at all times for the rest of my life.

“Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’ “

Luke 17:7-10

In this passage the “servant” here is actually “doulos.” Sometimes I will obey God’s Word and then think I should receive some extra blessing for it. But this isn’t right, I’ve only done what my Master requires of me. Keeping this perspective will make all the difference in us living 24/7 all out for Christ.