Blakeyblog

I had the opportunity to attended a Biblical Counseling seminar in San Diego on Saturday. Not only was it a beautiful drive down the coast in sunny 90 degree weather, but then I was deposited with 5 hours of intense Biblical teaching on the topics of Forgiveness and Counseling Blended Families.

Dr. Street was so helpful in explaining why saying “I apologize” or “I’m sorry” are not Biblical forgiveness.

• Apologize comes from the word “apologia” which means “to throw up a defense”. Really apologizing is a form of personal defense, passing the blame to something outside of self.

• Saying “I’m sorry” shows sorrow but really just says “I feel bad about this.” Stopping here will not accomplish forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not the end goal, but is “one small slice of the pie of reconciliation.” Biblical forgiveness occurs when a Christian owns responsibility for a sin committed toward another Christian, acknowledges it as sin against God and the person, seeks that person’s forgiveness, and when it is granted they make restitution where needed and seek to rebuild the relationship to be honoring to the Lord. Then he explained that Biblical forgiveness makes a three fold promise–

1. I won’t bring this up to you. I will not hold this against you.
2. I won’t bring this up to anyone. It is a dead issue.
3. I won’t bring this up to myself. I will not dwell on it in my heart.

We do not forgive and forget, but we can forgive to forget. Because if we were enacting these three things toward the one asking for forgiveness eventually we will forget about it because we will not be rehearsing the sin in our hearts or talking about it with them or others.

As Christians we must always be ready to forgive others because we are right in our hearts before God. If you are sinned against you must settle the issue in your heart before God, and that makes you ready to grant automatic forgiveness right when the offender seeks it.

When we encounter someone who refuses to forgive someone there is a question mark about their faith because Christians are forgiven people in Christ, therefore we forgive others. Dr. Street spent a good amount of time expounding on this from Ephesians 4:32.

Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If we have truly been forgiven by God, we will be forgiving people. I thought a lot about how putting Biblical forgiveness into action would radically change the life of the church. People wouldn’t be nursing bitterness in their hearts, talking to others about the wrongs done to them or continually reminding each other of past sin. Instead forgiveness, reconciliation and the rebuilding of relationships would be on ongoing process building each other up and building unity together in relationships that are a model of the gospel.

That sums up just about one hour of the seminar, which was pretty eye opening for me and will definitely affect how I seek and grant forgiveness from now on. It is critical that we understand and put into action Biblical forgiveness. I hope this brief recap has been helpful!

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