Blakeyblog

A couple of months ago Ty introduced us to the Mexican grill, Baja Fresh. We have since found ourselves frequenting this fine establishment a couple of times a week. Well, maybe more than that becasue some of the employees know us by name now. Today Bobby and I went there for lunch. To Bobby a resturant is a meal–he gets the same thing everytime he is there, then he knows that he’ll like it. To me a resturant is an experience–I like to try everything on the menu so that I get the full picture of the place. Today Bobby got his usual and I got the chicken taquitos. Delicious.

This week we ordered new cell phones. Our plan with Verizon has a part called “New Every Two”. With this we get two new phones free every two years. When I placed the order I, ordered my upgrade first and Bobby’s second. Well, the order was processed and I was e-mailed that it was split to arrive in two separate packages. When only one box arrived yesterday I assumed it was mine…having ordered mine first. But instead it was Bobby’s, and he had all kinds of smart comments about the last being first and all. It is a fun kind of phone, one of those ones with the little camera and lot of ringtones. When his phone rings it plays some upbeat song and we start dancing around. I’m eagerly awaiting my all-new flip Motorolla and wishing that I put others above myself more often.

Last night when my friends were over for dinner I brought this up and we started talking about humility. I told them how somone said to me, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s not thinking of yourself at all.” I found this to be a simple, but profound reminder to exalt God most high, consider others as better than myself and pray with all my heart John 3:30, “Christ must increase, but I must decrease.”

There is something about an annual job review that intimidates me. I’m not sure if it is the formality of all partners and I sitting in the boardroom together. Or if it’s the fact that the item on the agenda is me. Moving into the busy season in the firm I work for, my job review was the last thing on my mind. I believe that if I am doing what I ought I have no reason to be afraid of something like a review. But yesterday I was given a surprise performance review. Now, I consider myself to be very open to corrections. I am very into the concept of consistent and progressive change. I am always looking to be the best I can be, stop bad habits, keep a cleaner house, eat healthier…you name it. If I could work harder and better at something, I want to. All that said, I’m not sure I was ready for the spontaneous discussion of my performance at my current place of employment. However I came away with a small list of practical things that I can work on to improve my performance as executive assistant of Logies Skirtich & Company.

Someone once told me, “Those who genuinely want to change, do just that.” I found yesterday upon exiting our boardroom that I do want to change, not only things I can improve in my role as an employee, but also in my heart. I can’t simply state my plans and desires to make the changes, that’s just talk. I need time to show my change. I was very inspired to have a lifestyle of change. To not just say, “I’m working on it!” but to show that I am. Not grumbling at being corrected, but being willing to grow in any way I can. Philippians 2:14 comes to mind, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.” If I live making change reality, people won’t have anything bad to say about me. I will be blameless. I don’t mean that I’ll be managing things in my life to make everyone happy or to be approved in everyone’s eyes. What matters to me is that in the eyes of God–the boss of all–I will be found blameless and pure…

Another weekend has passed and I am thinking that if time keeps flying by–as it seems to be doing in my life–I am going to be 75 years old before I know it. My friends and I drove to Anaheim Friday morning. I think they were happy to discover the surprise: that we were staying at the Disneyland Hotel, instead of bargain ones we had talked about. The park was not crowded, the weather perfect…all in all a very nice weekend away. We had an ongoing joke about Dinsey’s perception of reality. They have this way of making their own little world. I was never sure if what I was seeing was real, or just real to Disney! All that to say, I’m happy to be home where I know that all of the birds outside and squirrels on our patio are really real, and a cup of tea doesn’t cost $3.

This weekend I’ve been brewing on a question. What am I doing with the time that I have? I’m not referring to some sort of “Carpe Diem”, take-chances, live-life-to-the-fullest mentality. I’m referring to a verse I read from the Gideon’s Bible at the hotel this weekend. Romans 14:17 “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Sometimes my life seems to be boxed into my own little world. What is real to me. Life can easily become all about the what rather than the how and the why and the who of life. I can see how I have become preoccupied with the what in my life. “What am I going to eat and drink?”, “What am I getting out of this?”, “What does anybody do for me?”, “What next?” I was convicted when reading this because though I don’t want to be about the eating and drinking, it is so easy to become about the wrong things with if I am lazy, undisciplined, and not alert. The eating and drinking of life is simply there. I don’t have to wrestle with convicting challenges or forming right thoughts and habits. Eating is simply a fact of life. If I am going to be about the kingdom of God, I have to be broken, willing to grow, void of myself, and surrendered to God. If righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit are what I long to be about it will have to be regardless of the eating and drinking in my life. Someone once said that Christians walking in the Spirit are able to live uninfected and unaffected by circumstances. I am humbled by this reminder that the kingdom of God is not about what is happening, it is about a righteous response, doing as far as it depends on me to be at peace and finding joy not in what is happening but in the Holy Spirit who is orchestrating it all together. I don’t want to miss this lesson and find myself 75 years old having lived for myself and what is going on in life. I want to have this kingdom-mentality of life and time so that it won’t matter where I am or what I’m doing becasue in Him is the happiest place to be on earth or anywhere for all time…

Last night Missy told me the most hilarious story. It was a tale about a city in Italy that had a season of “purse snatching” theft. One old woman was outraged to hear that some up-to-no-good men would scout a woman out, close in, grab her purse and run. She decided to take the hoodleums on by setting them up. She put a grenade in her purse, attatching the pin to her belt loop and set out to accomplish her mission. Pacing aimlessly on a sidewalk she would look around innocently, trying to get scouted by the robbers. Soon enough her purse was snatched her shoulder and the thief took off running. A few seconds later…BOOM! Supposedly she killed 4 or 5 people in her attempt to solve crime. When she was arrested, there was a huge public outrcry against her trial becasue the people felt that she was proactive about the problem. So she was set free. Crazy.

Tomorrow my friends and I are getting-away to Disneyland together. I sure am looking forward to them finding out the surprise I have cooked up for them! I’m off to pack and prepare…have a wonderful weekend!

Last night I learned a very valuable lesson in friendship. It is three-fold: 1) A friendship is only as good as each person’s ability to send and receive accurate message; 2) True love is void of self, asking nothing in return; and 3) There is no replacement for honesty. The story surrounding this lesson is long and involved, but I am so thankful that God is so able to bring about things like resolution, forgiveness and change. I have long since realized that I cannot change people and I am thankful for this. If I could change people I would have them be only how I want them and only to do what makes me happy. With God in charge all of life is better off, for the creation is bound to obey the Creator. I have been feeling rather small lately in relational problems that I have been having. Feeling that I cannot do anything to help these situations. But God showed me that if I am empty of my selfish preoccupations and willing to obey His will that He will use me. I get so consumed with my desires and totally concerned with life happening in a way that leans toward my favor. Last night I was so convicted of this error in my ways. This justification of my selfishness when I say “All I’m asking is______”. I realize how easily my wants, felt needs and seemingly-good expectations get in the way of what God is accomplishing in my life. I do not want to miss the work He is doing. I want to work with Him.

I was especially challenged and encouraged by something that Bobby wrote on Psalm 116:5-7 “Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yes, our God is merciful. The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He saved me. Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.” Bobby wrote, “Life is a gift. Sometimes we take that for granted. We think that we are entitled to everything we have. However, we should not forget that as sinners what we truly deserve is death…It is only when we comprehend our desperate condition on death’s door that we seriously consider turning to the Lord. He is the giver of all life, the savior of every damned soul…On our own we would be in distress, but knowing who God is gives us rest. God is the antithesis of who we are as humans, and the answer to all of our needs. We can be comforted by His character; we can find hope in how perfect He is.”(To read in full, please visit Godsong)

I have had a rather trying day . Due to a late and complex evening I had a difficult time getting to sleep. Waking up late this morning, attempting to get myself together for work on time, I went to get dressed and was greeted by a huge cockroach in my closet. I use the term ‘huge’ because this is only the third cockroach I have seen in my life. I’m not sure if I can use the word ‘gigantic’ because my family in Texas has probably seen cockroaches of disturbing proportions. All of that to say, it was the biggest one I’ve ever seen and I had this moment of panic, due mostly to it’s size. I am not too bug-fussy, I’ll smash them or get the “bug vaccum”…but this?? I didn’t know if I should smash it or saddle it up and ride it! I thought through my options and decided that if I chose to smash, it would make a sickening sound and the mess would be disgusting. Instead I trapped it under a jar and it was later deposited back outside where it belongs. Hoping my bug problems were over and frustrated that I was running late, I made it to work and determined to make the most of my morning. Popping the lid from my insulated cup I began to take a sip when I noticed an ant swimming around in my English breakfast tea.

I am happy to report that my day has gotten much better. I am looking forward to a quiet night at home with my Bobby, laundry to do, and a good book to read. I will be reminding myself and I hope you will too… Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.