Blakeyblog

Carolyn Mahaney is one of my favorite authors. What I enjoy so much about her books is how consistently loyal she is to the Biblical text and how personal and practical she responds to those passages in her writing. Her two other books–Feminine Appeal, a book about Titus 2 and Girl Talk, a book for moms and daughters about Biblical womanhood–have been instrumental in my personal growth and ministry.

So, when I saw this book pop up on my Amazon suggested products page I was excited, especially because Caroyln wrote it with her three grown daughters who all contribute to the GirlTalk blog. That same week I visited the local Christian bookstore and bought it and after reading this review, I hope that is what you will do too!

Shopping for Time helped me think through my days and how I spend my time and I easily saw how I need to readjust a few priorities, step-it-up in some areas and completely overhaul others. I know that I don’t always manage the time God has given me with the intensity and purpose that I ought to, so as I read this book I began to see that even though I thought, “I’m doing my best” managing my time, I really wasn’t.

What I enjoyed most about this book were the five practical tips to help me evaluate and accomplish the things that God has called me to do as a Christian woman. Too often we are harried, frazzled and overwhelmed as we run around trying to get done all that we think we need to do each day. This book is not a “system” or 5-step plan to life success. It is simply the disciplines the Mahaney women have exercised over the years that have greatly maximized their usefulness for the Lord. Here is a glimpse at the 5 Time-Saving-Tips:

Tip #1–Rise early, they propose that you join the “5 AM Club” to reap benefits both for your spiritual life and the good of your family.

Tip #2–Sitting at Jesus’ Feet, making reading and studying God’s Word, prayer and meditation top priority.

Tip #3–Taking a Personal Retreat, a time to study God’s Word, read pertinent books to where you are in life, devise solutions to some of our problem areas and make goals and plans that are thought out and Biblical for the upcoming months.

Tip #4–Consider People by evaluating relationships carefully. Do your friends sharpen you? Do you have a mentor and are you a mentor to someone? Are you reaching out to others by being a friend? Are you evangelizing those who need salvation?

Tip #5–Plan to Depend: being productive in daily life. One thing in this chapter that has really helped me is what they call the “15:4 rule.” Fifteen minutes of planning in the morning, saves four hours of your day. When I read this chapter I started doing this the next morning and have found each day to be so productive because I wasn’t wasting time trying to nail down what I needed to do next.

I hope reading these five ideas that you have some ideas about how you may need to change your schedule tomorrow! This book is simple, easy-to read and short, only 94 pages! What made this book so helpful is that it’s not about teaching us how to perfectly execute our daily plans, but to make sure our heart is wholly God’s, focused on Him and His priorities, relying on Him to accomplish each task and being intentional about living every day for His glory!

Since that day, when I fully acknowledged who He was and grasped something of the immeasurable love and sacrifice demonstrated at the cross, I’ve been on a mission: to know Him more, to love Him more, to become more like Him and to make Him known to others. Even though for much of the time I was still in the same circumstances, I was not the same old me–I was a new creation…Let’s not stay the same as we once were. He is calling us to dedicate our lives to Him, to be women of God who bring Him much glory.

These motivating words are the heart of and the introduction to Beth Redman’s book–Beautiful: How to Be a Woman of God. I bought it the first week in June and that night I read it–all in one sitting, it was so inspiring! I liked it so much that we used it to do a weekly study for the high school girls in our ministry. Every Thursday this summer we’ve packed out our living room with high school girls who want to be women of God. I would read the chapter aloud and wrote study questions that we discussed with passages to guide our conversation. Tonight we finished the book and I wanted to share this review in hopes that this book will be a resource to many others as it has ministered to me all summer!

In ten chapters Redman takes us back to the beginning when God created woman and from this point gives clear, Biblical direction for a woman to be living her life for God, starting with a relationship with Him. She shows that you can’t just work harder at being the woman you want to be, but have to surrender all to Christ as Savior and become all that He wants you to be. After laying this foundation she administers Scripture in going after our struggles, habits and hopes and also a three chapter look at the woman of Proverbs 31. She writes with such a simple, passionate and personal tone that it wasn’t hard to get into each chapter and come away with specific things to work on in my own life. Here are some highlight thoughts–

“God’s grace is enough for our deepest anguish, for the pray we feel He’s never heard and for the sadness that for awhile we must live with. In pain, we should not take things into our own hands. We must continue to call on Him, our Savior. We need to trust Him even though our world is caving in. At times of breakdown, we are often nearest to a breakthrough.”

Chapter 3–”I Want to Be an Uncomplicated Woman” p. 33

“The question for all of us is this: Are we working out God’s calling to us humbly and with reverence, gently seeking to become who He wants us to be? Or are we aggressively fighting for freedom in ways that do not match His design?”

Chapter 4–”I Want to Know Who I Am” p.39

“The Christian life is not you on your own, striving to make things happen by mere willpower, discipline or determination. Instead, it is something far more glorious: ‘Christ in you, the hope of glory’ (Col. 1:27)…The gloriously strong Maker and Sustainer of the universe is living in you–through the power of His Holy Spirit.”

Chapter 10–”Christ in You, the Hope of Glory” p. 106

The style and readability of this book makes it effective especially for younger women, maybe targeting the college age but easily adaptable for women of all ages. Redman’s message for women to follow Christ by embracing their role is a timeless and exhortation that doesn’t apply to one age group over another. I would definitely recommend this book to young women. My heart yearns to see more young women give up everything for God, embrace His plan for them and be transformed into women who radiate His beauty. In this book Beth Redman so effectively asks the questions, encourages with God’s Word and cuts to the heart that it can be a very helpful tool in this process.

To note: Several times Redman quotes people that I didn’t always agree with. She also used many Scripture references quoted from The Message translation which isn’t the best. For more thoughts on this please read this post about concerns with The Message translation.

Last week I finished this new book from Resources for Changing Lives–Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. Tim Lane, together with Paul Tripp (author of one of my favorite books, War of Words) tackle the deeper issues involved in relationships in the lives of believers.

Written with a gentle, we’re-right-there-with-you tone but also grounded in the authority of Scripture this proved to be a helpful read considering my relationships and the specific ways I need to embrace the power and sufficiency of God’s grace to redeem, restore and deepen the quality and purpose of relationships in my own life.

The structure of the book is a little awkward because even though it has two authors they write as one. I was somewhat distracted by this especially when they would tell a personal illustration but not say who’s story it was. I was surprised that at the beginning of each chapter they had a lengthy excerpt form a secular song. And I was concerned at the couple of quotes they positively sited from Donald Miller of the Emergent Church movement. The one other hang-up I had was due to the multiple Scripture references quoted from The Message translation. For more thoughts on this please read this post.

Overall this was a beneficial read. If I had a five-star rating system I’d give this book a three. Perhaps a better book addressing the heart of godly relationships would be Jerry Bridges book The Crisis of Caring: Recovering the Meaning of True Fellowship. However I would still recommend Relationships: A Mess Worth Making and here are some excerpts from my two favorite chapters:

Chapter 5–Agendas
p. 43

The default question we ought to bring to every area of life should be, “What is God’s purpose and design? What was his reason for creating this?” When you apply these questions to relationships you begin to see how different his agenda is from your own. We would easily settle for our own definition of personal happiness when God’s purpose is nothing short of conforming us to the image of Christ! Whether we are conscious of it or not, we all have dreams for our relationships, and we are always working to realize those dreams. How close is your dream to God’s purpose?

Chapter 9–Forgiveness
p. 95

The metaphor of debt cancellation (Matthew 18:21-35) clearly defines the nature of forgiveness. The merciful king absorbed $100, 000 debt that was owed him. When you forgive someone, you also cancel a debt. But, more specifically, you make a conscious choice to absorb the cost yourself. You choose not to make the offender pay for the offense. By forfeiting….you make at least three promises.You promise that you will not bring up the debt to use it as leverage. You promise that you will not bring up the offense to others and slander the person who sinned against you….You promise not to dwell on the offense yourself.

Yesterday I finished reading John MacArthur’s The Fulfilled Family a helpful little book (only 126 pages) on the roles inside the family. Even though this book is brief and more of an overview, MacArthur brought the same Biblical clarity that he always does in helping us understand and follow God’s divine plan for family life.

In five chapters MacArthur addresses, from Ephesians 5–family, wife, husband, children and parents. The common thread in the each chapter is mutual submission from Ephesians 5:21,

“…submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

In order to have a family that pleases God we need to be surrendered to Him through salvation and committed to living out in obedience what He says in His Word.

This book is deep, convicting and practical and would be great for a husband and wife to read together or as a family. It is so short that you could do so in one sitting or for sure a couple of days. I was encouraged by the reminder of what my role is in our family–as a wife and mother–and I was thankful for what I learned from all the chapters, here are some highlights:

“The Wife’s Role: Submission, Not Slavery”

Peter said, women fist of all need to cultivate inner beauty. They should be primarily concerned with “the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4). It’s hard to imagine anything Peter might have said that would be more out of step with twenty-first-century notions of political correctness! He was saying that women ought to be gentle and quiet and submissive, not loud boisterous and pushy. They ought to be concerned with their own character, and not with the world’s fashion. (p. 37)

“The Husband’s Duty: Love”

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) Biblical love is a willful commitment to self-sacrifice, and it is not at all based on how we might “feel” at any point about the object of our love…What we choose to love invariably becomes extremely attractive to us. A heart determined to love sees only beauty. So authentic love naturally results in the passions of desire and attraction we often associate with love. (p.62-63)

“The Children’s Duty: Obedience”

It’s notable that the fifth commandment itself doesn’t use the word obey. “Honor” is a broader concept that certainly includes the idea of obedience–but at the same time it condemns attitudes of resentment, anger, reluctance, or other forms of defiance that mechanical external obedience often masks. Obedience without honor is hypocrisy. Scripture is calling for obedience from the heart. (p.97)

“The Parent’s Duty: Nurture and Admonition”

Children have a heart problem. They are constitutionally sinful, like their parents. What they need most are regenerate hearts. This is the most fundamental issue in parenting. It’s not ultimately about behavior; it’s about the child’s heart…it’s not enough to correct wrong behavior and teach good manners. Proper parenting is not about behavioral control, or even merely teaching kids to be obedient. To bring up our children in “the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4) is to direct them to Christ. Parents cannot guarantee their kids’ salvation..but parents must be evangelists to point the way to Christ. (p. 114-116)

Even in those cheerless time which will come, we can affirm that they are neither the terminus nor the norm of experience. Instead, they are points of growth from which can emerge a clearer vision of how to reflect the splendor of God and the joys of personal relationships. God means for us to finish strong.

This quote is from the introduction to Gail MacDonald’s book–High Call, High Privilege: A Pastor’s Wife Speaks to Every Woman in a Place of Responsibility. I like this quote because “finishing strong” is something that I think about and pray for often. At the end of Paul’s life he writes to Timothy,

“I have fought the good fight,
I have finished the race,
I have kept the faith.”
(2 Timothy 4:7)

I remember reading this verse in a Bible class my first year of college and being inspired by Paul’s confidence. I talked about it with my professor after class because I was baffled that Paul could say “I have,” I asked my professor if that was a little arrogant and assumptive of Paul. At the time I thought most people should say it this way, “I’ve tried to fight the good fight, I’ve finished as much of the race as I could, I’ve done my best to keep the faith.” The professor explained to me that through God’s power, Paul was able to accomplish all that the Lord had called him to do in this life. God had saved Paul and then had completed the good work He had started in him. He said, “God can do this work in your life too, so that one day you could say these things with confidence.”

High Call, High Privilege is a testimonial/autobiography of MacDonald’s journey through life in church ministry. Her statement “God means for us to finish strong” is a theme that stood out to me throughout the book. Even when she faced disappointment, testing, pain and brokenness, she viewed them as “points of growth” in her walk with the Lord and was able to find joy in them. Her story was a huge inspiration to me of an example of a supportive wife, loving mother, and gentle and nurturing friend to all around her.

This book is brimming with practical lessons. As I read it I began to put in to practice some of MacDonald’s disciplines that have shaped her life and ministry. MacDonald writes in such a personal way–weaving Biblical thought throughout her story–I began to think of her as a mentor to me. Some of things the Lord taught her were so encouraging–

Tend The Fire Within

In the first chapter MacDonald presents this concept of “time at the fire.” She tells a story that as a new Christian, she heard an old missionary speak and he said, “Untended fires soon die and become just a pile of ashes.” He said that the fire burns in the heart of the one who follows Christ and this flame cannot go unmanaged or it will dwindle into ashes.

MacDonald writes:

My life was altered by that simple statement…It all begins with the fire within and your heart attitude. Tending the fire within is another way of talking about being open to the presence of Christ. It is what makes me long for his likeness, offers direction and stability, established proper motives and responses. Here is is that the real issues of the Christian faith are thought out and pressed into action. (p. 2)

I really liked this analogy of my relationship with Christ as a fire. John gives us an account of Christ with His disciples that made this concept poignant for me. In John 21 Christ is risen and the disciples see Him and make their way to shore. When they get there He is sitting with a fire and breakfast. This idea of us meeting Jesus at the “fire” to eat and learn is profound. Spending time in prayer with the Lord, studying His Word is vital and this is where life starts. Until this is understood and actualized all we are doing is in vain.

MacDonald closes her thoughts on this concept by writing:

It takes time to come to the fire, it takes effort to keep the fire burning, it takes a willingness to become quiet enough to hear what God might be saying and it takes courage to snuff out the competing sounds and demands that attempt to shorten or neutralize the effect of the fire time.

But here is the great choice that must be made virtually everyday. Do I give priority attention to tending the fire within, or do I surrender to the alternatives of busyness, hurry, people pleasing, or the seemingly urgent that slowly starves my spirit and my resolve to be the woman God wants me to be? If that fire burns brightly, I share the experience of the disciples; of it dwindles unattended, I am gradually surrounded by a chill marking the onset of weakness and confusion. (p. 5)

Be Hospitable

Romans 12:13 commands believers to “practice hospitality.” Hospitality is a spiritual gift (1 Peter 4:9) and one I have seen the Lord develop in my own life. I really gleaned from MacDonald’s thoughts on this–

We decided to use our home as a tool…Gordon and I wanted to know people better and to serve them. We were hoping that people would be drawn to one another as a result of being in our home. Those nights added a warmth and an acceptance in many people’s hears that would not have happened had we not developed such close contact.

What a beautiful lesson. This so resounded with me, that I immediately talked with Bobby about making our home open to people so that we can know and serve them. I desire those same things MacDonald shares for my home. Too often we feel disconnected and distant from people in our church bodies, even friends, because we allow ourselves to become too busy and closed to be bothered with having to straighten up the house and fix a nice meal. I hope this is something the Lord will continue to work out in our lives as we make ourselves more open to people by being hospitable to them!

What is your sermon?

If you are a wife of a husband who teaches, you know the rigors that a pastor puts into his sermon. Each week I try to devote myself to helping Bobby prepare his sermon. That doesn’t mean I’m sitting with him going over Greek verbs and Bible commentaries. But I try to do what it takes to help him prepare a sermon that will be a tool in God’s hand to work in the lives of our students. MacDonald writes about supporting her husband in this way and shares about an insight her husband had about her asking,

What is Gail’s sermon? It’s the home she prepares for the children and me. Gail preached her sermon when she cooked a meal…kept the house neat, and planted flowers in the front yard.

I really related to this concept of a “home” sermon. MacDonald writes about how her husband wanted to hear and enjoy the “sermons” in her life. This point was particularly motivating for me because I asked myself, “Do I give myself rigorously and carefully to what God has called me to do?” God has called Bobby to preach sermons. He has called me to do something for Him. Am I working diligently to deliver those “sermons” in my life?

I have benefited from numerous other lessons from this book. MacDonald writes about marriage, children, relating better with people, being a godly friend. If you read this book, do so with discernment, as you should respond to everything. Some of her conclusions I did not share–she writes a lot about the temperaments. In chapter ten she reveals a dark time in her life when she struggled through the pain of her husband having committed adultery. For a couple of weeks I couldn’t finish reading because I had come to respect this couple so much and then was bulldozed by the grueling reality that this pastor and husband had not kept his calling. I was very disappointed, not by the fact of sin, but that the two of them kept this secret for a time while he still held the position he was no longer qualified to hold. Later they even returned to the position of pastor, so the book’s end was not as high as it started.

I would recommend this to any woman who’s life is devoted to ministry, not just a pastor’s wife. I was sharpened and encouraged by MacDonald’s journey and I hope that someday I will be able to look back over so many years and see God’s hand at work in my life and our ministry.