Blakeyblog

For years I’ve heard women talk about this book and I finally finished it. Nancy Leigh De Moss’s book Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free gives a pretty thorough overview of common areas of deception

• Lies about themselves: I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings
• Lies about sin: I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin.
• Lies about their marriage: If I submit to my husband, I will be miserable.
• Lies about their emotions: I can’t control my emotions.
• Lies about their circumstances: I just can’t take it anymore.

We have all experienced a struggle with at least one of these categories and Nancy sheds some light on these lies and how to be delivered from them to freedom and forgiveness.

The main point I liked from this book was her exhortation to deal specifically with lies in our lives by:

1. Identifying the areas of sinful behavior in our lives
2. Identify the lies at root of that behavior.
3. Replace the lies with the Truth.

I thought Nancy did a good job outlining some of the lies behind feelings and thoughts women have–not believing that God loves you, entitlement, physical beauty matters most, my sin isn’t really that bad, it is my responsibility to change my husband, I can’t control my emotions, I shouldn’t have to suffer and if my circumstances were different, I would be different. As you can see, she covers many of the ways in which we could be deceived. At the end of each chapter she has provided questions to stimulate personal reflection over the material helping the reader–”Agree with God. Accept responsibility. And affirm the Truth.” She says at the end of the book, “True freedom is found in a vital, growing relationship with the Lord Jesus.” (p. 250) Overall she has some good perspectives.

I found the main premise of this book to actually be pretty confusing. It seems that she is writing to Christian women, but then she says that if she had to describe the majority of Christian women she would use the following words:

frazzled, defeated
exhausted, depressed
burned-out, ashamed
overwhelmed, emotionally unstable
confused, uptight
angry, insecure
frustrated, lonely
discouraged, fearful
and, yes, even suicidal
Bondage is another word that comes to mind when I think of contemporary Christian women…they are not free…by their own admission. (p. 17)

These Christian women don’t really sound like Christian women at all. There really is no difference between that list above and the life of a non-Christian woman. It isn’t to say that the Christian woman does not struggle with some of those things, I know I have felt exhausted, overwhelmed, angry and discouraged, but can a Christan woman be in bondage to something other than God?

I looked up the word bondage in the dictionary and it presents the idea of someone being subject to, controlled and mastered by something. If a Christian woman struggles in her relationship with God because she thinks, “God isn’t good. If her were He would______.” Nancy’s method to evaluate the lie and replace it with the truth is very helpful, but I don’t think Scripture describes a real Christian being mastered by doubt or fear, or anything other that the Lord.

In Romans 6:16-18 Paul writes:

“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”

Throughout this book, De Moss wants the reader to know that they are not alone and that struggling with these deceptions is very normal. She offers Biblical hope in saying that change is possible through the person of Jesus Christ and the power of the truth of God’s Word. In using terms like “bondage” or “enslaved to_____” to describe Christians, but in light of Romans 6, I think De Moss is confusing the need for “sanctification” with the need for “justification.”

• Being justified is a one time event in which a sinner is made right with God. Justification is the moment where through faith in Christ a person is set free from sin, judgment and eternal death and given a relationship with God and the power of the Holy Spirit. At justification, God makes you a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), you are filled with the Holy Spirit and empowered to resist temptation and pursue righteousness.

• Being sanctified is the lifelong process of putting off sin and putting on holiness.

If someone has not been justified they cannot be sanctified. This book was in need of clarity on this point.

All in all this book offered some Biblical insights on lies that we women believe. A Christian woman using good discernment can glean some great things from this book, but I don’t know that I would really recommend it. Instead of this book I would suggest Martha Peace’s new book Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face.

I love how Elisabeth Elliot has said–

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God’s idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be.

Last week I finished reading Martha Peace’s new book Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face. Most people are familiar with Martha Peace’s The Excellent Wife and this book is just as poignant and biblically sound. Peace writes with spiritual depth and encouraging clarity as she addresses problems that women have with others, self and the world.In eleven chapters Martha covers gossip and slander, idolatrous emotional attachments, manipulation, hurt feelings, vanity, PMS, legalism, the feminist influence, the role of women in the church and trials. Seeing that list, I knew this book would be convicting! And it is, but she does not condemn and leave us feeling guilty. Martha’s heart for helping women comes across very genuinely in her writing and her purpose it truly to exhort her readers to help them change.

In the first chapter Martha writes–

There is nothing, however painful, that we must go through in vain. God will not only help us, but He will also use all things for our good and for His glory. What a comforting thought when we are in a trial or undergoing terrific pressure or temptation!

She urges the reader to keep this perspective in all our struggles. This encouragement is especially timely as she continues to write very black and white about our struggles and how no excuses will do. If we have a 1 Peter approach to our weaknesses The Lord can accomplish His change in us.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you at the proper time,
casting all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:6-7

There were a couple of sections that I thought about quite a bit. The first was from chapter 4–Manipulation: I’m supposed to respond how? Martha writes–

Sinful manipulation is using unbiblical words and/or your countenance to bully another person into letting you have your way. All the while you know that if you cannot have your way, you can at least punish the other person in the process.

You know you are guilty of sinful manipulation when you don’t graciously take “no” for an answer and keep trying to convince the other person to let you have your way. Certainly there may be times when an appeal is appropriate, but if the answer is sill “no,” then you must see it as God’s will for you at the moment.

She breaks manipulation down into a chart of tactics that women try with their husbands, parents, friends and children. She sees that most verbal manipulation falls into one of these categories: sweet talk, begging, crying, anger, the cold shoulder, accusations, and threats. She calls us to put off manipulations and let all we say and do be done in love.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,
but with humility of mind regard one another
as more important than yourselves.”
Philippians 2:3

The second one is from chapter 5, Hurt Feelings: What difference does it make what he intended? Martha tries to be clear on the differences between intentional and unintentional hurts. I am amazed at the authoritative clarity with which she describes these two problems.

She writes about intentional hurts–

Intentional hurts are sinful. They may be in the form of slander, name-calling, malicious comments and acts, or cruel threats. Whatever the form, you can overcome them only be responding righteously, not by adding additional wickedness.

I was a little surprised at the bluntness of what she says about unintentional hurts–

Unintentional hurts are sinful on the part of the person perceiving something as hurtful. Often the person perceiving something as hurtful is overly sensitive, shy, proud, and self-absorbed. Whatever form their sin tends to take, they are to have a righteous, humble response to others.

Instead of being offended and hurt, we must learn to give others the benefit of the doubt…We must be willing to feel uncomfortable in order to help others feel comfortable. It is never pleasant to feel uncomfortable, but it is a mark of maturity when your concern is greater for another person’s feelings than your own.

This is just a sample of this book, and I hope that you will take time to read the rest for yourself. Martha Peace cuts through the self-esteem, entitlement, feministic message that many authors use in an attempt to help women in their problems and she speaks authoritatively from God’s Word helping women see how He cares for us deeply and tenderly–even when we think others don’t understand our struggles–and also that He is holy and requires our obedience in all areas of life. Only in Him can we be free from sin and victorious over these problems.

A couple of weeks ago I finished reading C.J. Mahaney’s Humility: True Greatness. I’ve been thinking about reviewing it but I wasn’t sure how to share about how this little book addresses the big problem of pride. It is simple and easy-to-read but is addresses well the deep sickness of sin in our hearts and presents God’s desire for us to be humble before Him. This book is convicting and encouraging, meditative and practical. Time spent reading this book would be edifying and worthwhile for anyone.

“This is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at My word.”
Isaiah 66:2

I agree with C.J’s description of this verse–”astonishing.” How amazing that God, the Creator of the universe will look upon fallen and sinful people. This verse is also sobering because God does oppose the proud (James 4:6) and they are an abomination to Him (Proverbs 16:5). He writes, “Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him.” (p. 31) and “Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness.” (p. 22). This is why we need to be in the habit of studying and obeying His Word. When we are lowly and humble we can see more clearly how great and deserving He is.

C.J. does a good job in warning his readers to heed conviction of sin and to be sensitive to weak areas where we are prone to pride. My favorite part of this book was where he gave advice on some habits that would beneficial in the quest to winning over pride in our lives. These two really encouraged me to work on them daily in my own battle against pride and striving for humility.

Begin Your Day Acknowledging Your Need For God.

In this section he wrote about how the sin of pride is active. When we allow ourselves to be undisciplined for just a moment, it can creep in and taint our thoughts. He quotes Martin Lloyd-Jones who wrote, “Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?” C.J. reflects on this profound statement:

Most of us spend more time listening to lies than we do speaking the truth to ourselves. And the listening process usually starts as soon as we get up. The alarm has rudely interrupted the gift of sleep, and the listening begins. As we stumble through our morning routine,we’re not directing our thoughts in our mind–we’re simply at their mercy. We’re not in charge of our thinking. We’re just there.

But instead, you can declare war on pride by speaking the truth to yourself and set the right tone for your day by mentally affirming your dependence on God and your need for Him.
p. 69-70

Identifying Evidences of Grace.

C.J. explained why identifying evidence of God’s grace in other’s lives will help cultivate humility in my own heart–”This means actively looking for ways that God is at work in the lives of other people.” He encouraged the reader to become very familiar with the lists of fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, gifts of the Spirit in Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 and to then be on the lookout for the Spirit’s working in other’s lives so that we can become more aware of what God is doing around us and not proudly focus on ourselves.

Throughout the book, C.J. presents a beautiful image of humility as being void of anger or bitterness, being God-centered and a servant to others. He helped me remember that pride can be blind and so I need to be open to hear correction from others, especially in areas where I am possibly blinded by pride in my own heart. This book gave me a whole new perspective on the seriousness of pride and the decay it promotes in my heart and life. I am thankful that by God’s grace, He will continue to change me to be lowly and tremble at His Word.

Anxiety, worry, fear and stress are common responses to the problems we face. But when we consider the Biblical commands–“Be anxious for nothing,” (Phil. 4:6) “Casting all your cares upon Him,” (1 Peter 5:7) “Do not worry about your life” (Matt.6:25)—it is sad that so many of us still respond to life’s trials and circumstances this way.

This book gave a helpful overview of anxiety that clearly showed why anxiety is sin and gave great Biblical instruction for putting on qualities to counteract it(i.e.: contentment and gratitude). On a side note–though it was very easy to read, I noticed that it didn’t sound very much like John MacArthur’s other books or even how he speaks. The book is simpy an adaptation from sermon transcripts and was not edited by his usual editor, so it reads different, but is still definitely worth a read!

George Muller said, “Where faith begins, anxiety ends; where anxiety begins, faith ends.” This pointed statement is a good summation of MacArthur’s approach to anxiety as well. He definitely teaches that anxiety is a spiritual issue of the heart as one stands before God not just as some describe it as an uncontrollable attack or a reaction their circumstances forced them into. I was convicted by his explanation that anxiety is simply distrust in God’s power and care. He gave a great example of the Israelites and how they complained against God while they were in the wilderness because they doubted He would bring them to the promised land. The silly thing is that all the while they were witnessing miracles and wonders. We can so easily trap ourselves into a tunnel vision and forget just who our God is!

Below I have listed some points that I found to be encouraging in attacking anxiety in my own life.

React to problems with thankful prayer. Paul said, “In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6) What MacArthur says about this is very helpful because I can sometimes come to God very upset about my circumstance and almost accusatory instead of thankful for the opportunity to come to Him and to be sharpened and grow. MacArthur writes:

Put away grumbling and be content. When we question or criticize how God is working things out in our lives it will only breed more worry and anxiety over what is to come. MacArthur writes about this “emotional bellyaching” and warns us not to debate God.

“We start arguing with God about why things are the way
they are or why we have to do what we’re supposed to do.
We think we have a better idea than God about the job,
marriage, church, home or any other situation we’re in.
We are living in a fallen world. It isn’t always going to be
the way we like it, and the people around us aren’t always
going to be the way we’d like them to be. When we complain
about them we are positioning ourselves for His judgment.

James warned, “Do not complain, brethren, against another,

that you yourselves may not be judged; behold the Judge is
standing right at the door. (James 5:9) God is always in
earshot of our complaints.”
p. 118

Remember whose Name I bear. We should never act in such a way that would be inconsistent with who we are. We must not forget who our heavenly Father is. This quote was a good reminder for me:

Temporary cures for our anxiety, stree or worry should not suffice. Instead we can hold fast to the truth of God’s promises to us and trust Him. Anxiety is not something that we should struggle with because God gives us the power to overcome it!

A few years ago I wrote a brief article on the subject of anxiety and how to overcome it. Just click this link if you would like to read more! “Be Anxious For Nothing: Living Free From the Control of Circumstances.”

I recently finished John MacArthur’s new book, The Quest for Character. When I first heard of this book I thought it would be a companion to one of his other books The Book On Leadership because the cover design was similar. But when it came in the mail it was actually a tiny gift-size book. I skimmed it and felt a little disappointed because it just seemed like a brief review with a lot of artwork. But then I read it. This may be a small book, but it “packs a punch.” I never would have thought that a coffee-table type book could be so convicting!

One thing that I was right about is that the book is a bit of a review. In four short sections MacArthur covers “The Beatitudes” from Matthew 5:3-12, “The Progress of Faith” from 2 Peter 1:5-8, “The Fruit of the Spirit” from Galatians 5:22-23, and “The Triumph of Love” from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. With not even 150 pages to the book, the chapters aren’t able to go into much detail. This isn’t an in-depth look at these four character studies, but rather a glimpse of them. Hopefully the glimpse will stir readers on, as it did me, to deeper study of the Scriptures they cover.

Each chapter is, at most, four pages long, so this book is easy to read. I found it to be very inspiring in the challenges it presented for my own character. Below are some specific portions that I gleaned a lot from.

- Chapter 4 “A Parched Soul” This chapter addresses the heart of our desires. Most people want pleasure, comfort, popularity or power but the righteous person will I “hunger and thirst for righteousness.” (Matthew 5:6) The righteous person desires most for God to be glorified. MacArthur writes about the difficulty many Christians have because they desire the things of the world rather than righteousness. I really like how he said,

I was encouraged by this knowing that as His child, I can trust Him to replace my old fleshly desires with new ones. Though I sometimes seek for self, I can pray and ask Him to replace that self-centeredness with a hunger and thirst for righteousness and His glory.

-Chapter 7 “A Passion For Peace” The idea of peace is sometimes just that in my mind…an idea. With so much evil and sin I wonder how things could ever be peaceful. I was challenged by what MacArthur writes about peace and its interconnectedness to holiness: